Ok, now Im a perv, and I hit 5 year olds... This is serious now...

[Reign_Maker]

Ok, so Christy has a 5 year old boy, he's adopted... Her ex, still "legally" married, is the adopted father... Well, the guy left for 5 months, wouldnt make his where abouts known, never sent "Little Johny" any money, birthday card, christmas presents, nothing... Thomas is the epitome of piece of shit... He's insanely obsessed with Christy... All of this has to do with keeping himself in Christy's life, and none has to do with Little Johnny... Anyway, Thomas shows back up a few weeks ago, says he doesnt want to be in Christy's life or want any trouble from me, just wants to see his son... So we set up a visitation schedule with the two attorneys... Thomas would get johny "X" days at "X" times, and on weekends, etc... This was suppose to be a two week schedule... *BTW: the boy's name isnt Johny, but you know, just protecting the minor* So anyway, Thomas has been living in a hotel, and that's where he takes LJ for visitation and over night stays... Everything was cool with Christy and Tom for a few days... they were talking civilly and making a plan on the how to proceed with the divorce, and all that... Tom used to refuse to sign, now he says he will, but he wants a few things, and Christy agreed... Right now, we're just at the point we want this sick fuck to go away...

Ok, well, its no surprise that Tom LOATHES me... He calls me a 36 year old "boy", tells Christy he wants to meet me alone, but wont say why, calls me an adulterer and all sorts of other shit... The other day, i pick Christy up from work, we go to meet Tom and get Johny, and as Johny goes to hop in the car, Tom is like, Gimme a hug little buddy... He bends down, and half ass hugs Johny and glares at me over his sunglasses... I just smiled at him... Later that night, Johny asks me if Im afraid of Tom... Why do you ask that? Well, tom says you're afraid of him and that you're stupid and ugly. Tom says he's bigger than you so you're scared of him. *I refused to meet tom alone, so that means Im scared, not really, just means Im smart, i know what he would try to do...*

the next day we pick Johny up, go to Walmart to get some things, and Johny asks christy: are you and tom still married? why do you ask Johny? Because tom says you're a liar and a cheater and a whore and that Jake is stupid and will get it.

This piece of shit is telling his FIVE YEAR OLD this shit!!!

So it gets awesome! here we go... Tom asks again to meet me, this was yesterday, and Christy again siad no... Tom says Im angry and violent and that he wants to meet this BOY who will be in his son's life... Christy says no... So Tom then tells christy, this is all through text messages not verbal, all written... Tom texts Christy something along the lines of this: "Johny" says he's uncomfortable with Jake being in the house. He says Jake is a freak. He said that Jake watches him pee and poop and that Jake hit him.

So of course, Johny is standing right there when Chrsity gets the text and straight up asks him if he ever said anything like that... the look on Johny's face was of shock... NO! he screamed... I love jake! Jake never hits me! Why would Jake hit me? Christy asks, did Tom ever ask you anything like that? Nope......

I have never wanted to beat anyone so badly... WTF can I do about this? I already filed a police report, but because Tom hasnt made a formal complaint, this is a civil matter... They took an information report, so they are aware of this, and of course, its not true, i would never touch that boy or perv him in any way... I love that kid... here's the sad thing really, I love johny more in the three months I've been in his life than Tom has in the 4 years he's been a part of his life... What the hell can I do? Christy is freakin out because she thinks this is gunna drive me away... but Im not leaving over this... We're dealing with a sick fuck here... And this guy is not gunna just "go away"... He's trying to goad me into a confrontation where he can video tape it or audio record it and make me look like a bad "father" or unfit or something... I have NEVER been accused of anything like this, and it doesnt surprise me that he would pull this card, but what the fuck can I do? Im being very very calm about this, but i would just rip him to pieces if we were alone... he's done nothing but cause this whole family grief... he needs to go bye bye in a BAD way...

Anyway, please discuss... Advice? opinions? I just need to vent...

Oh, I have another question: is there any way that we can legally remove Tom as the boy's adopted father? Little Johny is Christy's blood, her cousin's son... Tom has NO blood ties to Johny...

 

[savannahashlee]

Only way you can remove him is if he signs off custody, or the court orders it, in that case you'd have to prove he's unfit...All it is is a smear campaign..He's going to do what he can to make everyone's life miserable, and the cops cant do anything about it..Honestly, I think its in everyone's best interest, if you take a step back...Let her get a protection order, push the divorce through and then when its all done, you guys restart a relationship..You might not agree with me, but it just seems like the logical step right now..its especially hurtful for johnny

 

[supra1008]

Wow.... just WOW!!! I really don't know what to say but WOW!! I feel bad for you guys. Unfortunately I'm not good with legal stuff. I hope everything turns out good in your favor and especially for Johnny. Good Luck!! I'll keep you in my thoughts.

 

[Keros]

A smear campaign is a good discription, I agree.

You'll just have to buckle down and take it. I don't think a text messaged accusation is going to hold up in court to prove you're a bad guy or unfit to be with the kid. He, unfortunately, has a right to free speech, so he can say whatever he wants... imho, he's just trying to get you into a confrontation, and don't be surprised if he waits for you to throw the first punch so he can claim self defense.

Any way you slice it, it's just poorly thought out phsycological warfare that he's trying to play... just don't play his games.

 

[lagged]

save those text messages! call the lawyer and have a court take away the guys visitation rights. after that get a restraining order and hope for the best.

 

[Tire Shredder]

good call going to the police and making them aware of the issue. Just incase something DOES happen it shows good responsibility and character you took the first step to the authorities. Anybody in law enforcement or the judicial system questioning you and the family will easily see he's the crazy one, so don't worry about that. He's just trying to get under your skin and try and damage your relationship. IMO, the only thing you really need to worry about is your own actions. what he wants is a comment, threat or a punch thrown from you so he can make your life more difficult (by talking to authorities). You can only be held responsible for your own actions, not his. You can't stop him from being an idiot (by talking to him or pounding his head in) but you CAN change how you react to situations he creates. Just keep your cool and you'll come out on top.

 

[drunk_medic]

imho, he's just trying to get you into a confrontation, and don't be surprised if he waits for you to throw the first punch so he can claim self defense.

Any way you slice it, it's just poorly thought out phsycological warfare that he's trying to play... just don't play his games.

I was thinking this, too.

All it would take is for him to have a concealed carry permit, a public place with many witnesses, yielding when attacked, and claiming self defense when the assault continues after is was made perfectly clear that the danger has become mortal after he "gave up". What witnesses will never know is the exchange of words that took place leading up to the assault. He could say some really nasty, hateful, slanderous shit to stir the pot and really get you angry. If you let your temper get the best of you, it could end very badly. Be very careful, Jake. Your description makes it sound like he's a liar, and not the type to fight fair.

 

[bmoss85]

tom is a douche, i feel sorry for the kid. i went through something similiar as a child and it wasnt fun. as much as i love my dad he was the douche in the sitiuation and ran smear campaign against my mom and stepdad. it was terrible, hopefully the court will have the oppurtunity to see what kind of person tom is and will not let him interfere anymore.

Jake just remember to keep your cool and be the adult in the situation. It wont take long for everyone to see toms true colors.

 

[SupraMario]

Well, seems like tom doesnt have much money or a life, have someone you don't know pick him up, knock him out, drive his ass to mexico, drop him off....problem solved.

But in all seriousness, jake, christy needs to get one, the divorce to go through, and two a restraining order, and she needs to get full custody of johny. Plain and simple, this guy isn't going to go away on his own, and our legal system is so fucked these days that he can keep doing this for a long time. You could fight for custody and continually bring him to court until he decides to give up, basically play tug of war until you win.

 

[IJ.]

You wouldn't see me for dust.

NO ONE needs that shit in their life and you're signing on for years of this crap Jake.

It's just not worth it.

 

[SupraMario]

You wouldn't see me for dust.

NO ONE needs that shit in their life and you're signing on for years of this crap Jake.

It's just not worth it.

Lies, we know all, aussies would bring him out back and have the roo's kick his ass while you watched and drank fosters. :biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

 

[IJ.]

I speak from experience on this subject... sadly.

 

[Reign_Maker]

All it would take is for him to have a concealed carry permit.

He has a CCP... Thus the reason I wont meet him privately, why Christy is afraid of him, she knows what he has, she bought the damn Glock for him... He wont come into this house, if he did, we'd kill him, we'd have to, because he'd be here for one reason... So thats why he wants me to meet him alone, and in a "public" place... Im good...

You wouldn't see me for dust.

NO ONE needs that shit in their life and you're signing on for years of this crap Jake.

It's just not worth it.

Believe me, this thought has crossed my mind... I dunno what Im gunna do...

 

[IJ.]

I spent a year of my life waiting for things to improve.... they never did.

I set a bail date and stuck to it but in hindsight it should have been MUCH sooner.

 

[Doward]

One side of me wants to say we have the entire Southeast SM crew show up and 'talk' some sense into Tom. Make him one paranoid bastard, never knowing who might be watching him Get his crazy ass committed quickly.

On the other (more logical) side, I have the following suggestions:

Why hasn't Christy filed a restraining order on him yet?

Record EVERYTHING with this guy, and submit it ALL in her case against his fitness as a parent.

 

[Shytheed Dumas]

Tom's concealed carry permit is revoked just as soon as a restraining order is issued on him. That's true at least in this state and all of the other ones that I've traveled through with my pistol. Now is the time for you, and her, to get a permit of your own. It's not a tough guy thing; it's a prudent thing to do since this guy is irrational and unpredictable.

 

[LilMissMkIII]

Asking a forum what to do is not being proactive about rectifying the situation, and the longer you leave it, more psychological and emotional damage is being done to this poor kid.

Either you go to the authorities about this poor excuse of a human being, or you bail on Christy and the boy because it is highly unlikely that anything will get better whilst you don't take any action.

I have been in this kid's sitation, when I was the same age as him, and it sucks hardcore, especially when these false accusations are made to the police in addition to the child. I really really wish there was someone around back then who took some action...

 

[DsBetterHalf]

Going to the police was a good idea, as previously said.

Now you need to take the text messages from Christy to her lawyer, so they also have that on file. It may not seem to mean much right now, but if there are more incidents, it will show favorably on your part (and Christy's as well).

I would also suggest from now on not to mention things to Little Johnny that Thomas has said. All it will do is confuse and upset the kid, and make things even more tense than they already are.

 

[mattsplat72]

Hey Jake you need 4 things .
A baseball bat, A roll of chain link fence,and a cinder block.
Now break up with the Girl and make friends with Tom . Go hang out and get drunk a few times while secertly seeing the girl. Buy a plane ticket to see me in Seattle. Take Tom out fishing and get him drunker then you. Smack the shitbag in the head with the bat, roll him up in the fence and chain the cinder block to the roll ands toss the cock sucker into the ocean. BAM instant crab food will only take a day or two for the crabs to dispose of the remains. Meanwhile we were swaping a JZ into my car I can even flydown and take a few pics in a nondescript garage to prove the point . Best thing is the shitstain will be awake for at least a minute while he sinks. Just let me know










This is a fictional accout made in jest to cheer up a friend any similarity to a real event is coincedental

 

[savannahashlee]

Sadly, I agree with IJ on this one...Christy needs to handle this on her own..If she does it on her own, the police and everyone else will take things more seriously..In turn, they will be more apt to determine him as actually be "Unfit", not just a "Lover scorned" because she is with someone new..What people forget to see is Johnny is the only one truly suffering here..
And trust me on this one reign: If that man made those allegations, he can program them into Johnny's head that it happened...Psychologists here do it all the time to abused kids..Whether or not he likes his dad, he trusts them, and can/will be easily lead by his dad..He's at a very impressionable age and as you can already tell, his father is manipulating that..Its only a matter of time before he'll get johnny saying it, and you'll find your ass behind bars trying to prove your innocence...