Your Favorite Family guy quote!
- Thread starter SupraMario
- Start date
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lanky189
Guest
Gather around family. We're officially on welfare. Help daddy scatter car parts on the front lawn.
It wasn't funny the first time around, but hearing it on the DVD menu brought new insight into it
It wasn't funny the first time around, but hearing it on the DVD menu brought new insight into it
JustAnotherVictim
Supramania Contributor
Peter : This sucks worse than that time I went to that museum.
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
Peter: "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and be lectured by a pervert."
Peter (as a child): Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Man at Museum: Because you touch yourself at night.
Peter: "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and be lectured by a pervert."
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L
lanky189
Guest
C
Chad
Guest
Stewie (to Jeremy, the babysitter's boyfriend):
Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sac tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love "Mr. Plow"! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
Lois: "Typical male fantasy. Women drinking beer. I can guarantee that a man made that commercial."
Peter: "Of course they did. It's a commercial, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner."
...and
Peter: "I told Lois I wouldn't drink."
Quagmire: "Don't feel so bad Peter."
Peter: "Hey, I never thought of it that way."
Peter: "Of course they did. It's a commercial, not a delicious Thanksgiving dinner."
...and
Peter: "I told Lois I wouldn't drink."
Quagmire: "Don't feel so bad Peter."
Peter: "Hey, I never thought of it that way."
Quagmire"Hey, whats all the noise, i was just mastur---...... waking up."
Peter "what are those things called that when you step on them, they blow up?"
store keep " umm landmine?"
Peter and lois " LANDMINES!"
Peter "what are those things called that when you step on them, they blow up?"
store keep " umm landmine?"
Peter and lois " LANDMINES!"
Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.
(They all drink.)
Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.
(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)
Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.
(Only Quagmire drinks.)
****About 33 drinks later****
Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.
Quagmire: Oh God.
(Quagmire takes a drink.)
Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home a choke me while I touch myself.
Quagmire: Oh come on!
(Quagmire drinks again.)
Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.
Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)
X-Mas episode:
Quagmire- Hey, maybe we should set him up with another lemon snow cone....
Peter- No thanks, the last one you gave me didn't taste like lemon at all... it tasted like.... Oh, you guys are ASSES!
Quagmire- Hey, maybe we should set him up with another lemon snow cone....
Peter- No thanks, the last one you gave me didn't taste like lemon at all... it tasted like.... Oh, you guys are ASSES!
??supra said:
AHAHAHAHA, that was hilarious.
"Peter, talent doesn't disappear just like that!"
"Sometimes it does. I mean you were pretty bad in bed saturday night..."
---come on lois, move or something... geez, like doing it with a pillow---
"Peter, I stayed at my mother's last night."
Stewie talking to meg.
"Oh God, do you hear yourself......................I shall kill you tonight"
"Oh God, do you hear yourself......................I shall kill you tonight"
Meg: "I know, why don't you kill all the girls who are prettier than me?"
Death: "But that will only leave Britain"
and
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
Death: "But that will only leave Britain"
and
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
Brian "No....no" while smaking Peter on the head with a rolled up news paper.
Stewie, "Tell him boogity boogity boo, he'll know what I mean."
Stewie, "Tell him boogity boogity boo, he'll know what I mean."