What To Do About A Girl.....?

[ChadMKIII]

Just thought I'd get some opinions from you guys. I've been contemplating this and asking some of my friends, just thought I'd see what you thought.

Soooo, I was together with this girl for about 8 months. Almost a year ago she broke up with me, for some very vague reasons. Later on she explained them a bit, but they aren't important right now. Anyway after the first month or two we were beginning to be normal friends again (I had pretty much ignored her for a while after the breakup). We're very close and she is a lot of fun to talk to and hang around. Well, I had kinda noticed it seemed like she was starting to be interested in me again over the last few months, and then her best friend started asking me (on a weekly basis) if I liked her as in wanting to be bf/gf again. I always responded 'No' because I really wasn't sure I was all that interested in another relationship with her. Of course, these answers were going right back to the girl lol. So I pretty much saw this coming but Sunday she told me that she really values my friendship and doesn't want that to change, and knew I wasn't interested in her, but that she likes me. I basically was like, um, Ok. And thats basically where it ended.

So, here's the thing. She didn't come out and say she wanted to get back together (well, at least not outright). She wants to talk again, prolly gonna tomorrow. Here's whats kept me thinking: We get along really well, very similar personalities, we're both really sarcastic (which makes it a lot of fun lol), we're very close. She is really easy and fun to talk to. And of course, she meets my first criteria-she's gorgeous. Perfect body, etc. No, you horny dogs aren't getting pictures lol. So everything there is a go. I'm just kinda apprehensive about giving it another shot when we've already broekn up once. Also, 2 other things, I'm not thrilled about the weird reactions I'm sure I'll get from everyone, and I have 3 friends (not super close) who also are really interested in her and I don't want to distance them.

So, sorry for the longs post just thought I'd see what ya had to say.

 

[trucker]

wait...had her friend testing the waters for her?


sounds like jr high school stuff to me


and you guys did break up for a reason the first time

ok here comes hells and friends....you'll get some real advice now

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

I gave up on wenches for a while.

Im good at helping people with relationships i just cant start one. Hit me up on AIM if you wanna talk

 

[RHDMK3]

Just take it slow, or you could be a dick and get with her, bang her for a while and then dump her for "vague reasons".

 

[racingtoyota007]

LMAO^^^ that pic is awsome.

But Bro's before hoes. If she broke up with you she is bound to do it again. And if you have friends intrested in her, dont get in the way.

And what rhdmk3 is fucked up but you could go that route lol.

 

[fandffan]

sounds like jr high school stuff to me

seconded.

 

[kwnate]

Dump her.






PS, I didn't read it.

 

[ChadMKIII]

Kwnate, you're oh so helpful. Lol.

Anyways, I mentioned the testing waters thing to her, she said she didn't ask the friend to, but the friend did and told her about it. I have about 90% trust in her word for the time being.

Wait, advice from Kyle???? He hasn't even gotten within 3 feet of a girl!

And yeah, RHD, thats pretty jacked. I'm not that kinda guy. Like I said she explained them later, and if they were in fact the truth I actually have respect for it, but we're not getting into that.

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

Pffft.

But no im serious. My friends like my advice cause I see stuff from a wenches pint of view a lot.

 

[ChadMKIII]

Hehe jp Kyle, whats ur advice? I'm kinda the same way as you, but I don't trust my own advice when I'm giving it to myself lol.

But watcha got?

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

Well for one thing. Has this girl been in ANY relationship since then? Man, woman, sexual, non sexual I dont care. Has there been one?

Who told you they value the friendship? This said girl or her best friend?

Usually, from what I have seen MANY times when a relationship(espically between teenagers) is broken they will not work again. A person usually doesnt change and when a person doesnt change their reasons wont change.
Im nt sure if that last line makes sense but yeah.

 

[phoenix6]

Its tricky man. See, when youre a teenager and in a relationship, you sometimes have a hard time holding the same friendship bc when shes finally your gf, us guys tend to just wanna jump them and not have the same fun all teh time. Id say knowing the reasons yall broke up last time would help out alot. It really depends on you too, how do you exactly feel about her? Do you just want a companion and this seems easy or do you really want her back?

 

[swaq]

Girl B FTW!!






Does she like your Supra? If the answer is no then she's not the one for you. :icon_razz

 

[phoenix6]

my fiance hates imports, and slowly she turned from "eh" to, I love your car, please hurry and fix it!

either shes wanting some diamonds or the little test drive she had with it (NEVER AGAIN) was fun.

Let her love it, dont let her drive it.

 

[ChadMKIII]

Kyle: Yes, she has. With one of the friends I mentioned. We're actually more of acquaintances, but we talk about cars alot and he's pretty cool.

The girl herself told me that she valued my friendship. She has told me in the past that I am her closest guy friend.

So,for Kyle & Phoenix, here is the reason she explained.
Basically, she and I both are not going to have sex before marriage. Half of you will laugh at me right there.
On our 6 month, I [finally] decided she would be OK with a french kiss. Yes, it was a slow moving relationship.
Well, she said that french kissing was basically where she wanted to stop (when she was explaining this, we hadn't previously set boundaries) and she was afraid that things might get carried away in the future and she didn't want to risk going where she didn't want to.
Now the other half are laughing too lol.

What happened was after that day she decided she wanted us to basically stop on the physical aspect of our relationship for about a month or so. Apparently it didn't make her feel comfortable enough after that so she just decided to break it off, so she didn't put herself in a position that might cause her to have sex or something like that.

So, I do respect that because I know I'm not going that far either, but it still was a bit odd anyways to break it off all the sudden.
Thats a rushed explanation, I'll clarify better when I get back, gotta run.


And, Swaq, she loves teh car. Lol.

Edit Phoenix: 1st rule of driving a manual, never teach someone stick on your car.

 

[Big Wang Bandit]

Okay to me that souns very reasonable. Shes looking out for herself. It may sound odd to some people but its somthing ive heard before.

Not to sound like the ass but a second "try" usually doesnt work.

But the reasons she broke off were not because of anything you did. She was just trying to keep a commitment....

Unless there were other motives...

 

[swaq]

Kyle: Yes, she has. With one of the friends I mentioned. We're actually more of acquaintances, but we talk about cars alot and he's pretty cool.

The girl herself told me that she valued my friendship. She has told me in the past that I am her closest guy friend.

So,for Kyle & Phoenix, here is the reason she explained.
Basically, she and I both are not going to have sex before marriage. Half of you will laugh at me right there.
On our 6 month, I [finally] decided she would be OK with a french kiss. Yes, it was a slow moving relationship.
Well, she said that french kissing was basically where she wanted to stop (when she was explaining this, we hadn't previously set boundaries) and she was afraid that things might get carried away in the future and she didn't want to risk going where she didn't want to.
Now the other half are laughing too lol.

What happened was after that day she decided she wanted us to basically stop on the physical aspect of our relationship for about a month or so. Apparently it didn't make her feel comfortable enough after that so she just decided to break it off, so she didn't put herself in a position that might cause her to have sex or something like that.

So, I do respect that because I know I'm not going that far either, but it still was a bit odd anyways to break it off all the sudden.
Thats a rushed explanation, I'll clarify better when I get back, gotta run.


And, Swaq, she loves teh car. Lol.

I'm all for slow moving relationships. If you're trying to find someone you'll be with the rest of your life the physical aspects shouldn't be the number one priority. I would suggest keeping a good relationship with her, be her best friend. Then maybe in the future it can become more. It's always good to really get to know someone as a friend before you date them.

Edit Phoenix: 1st rule of driving a manual, never teach someone stick on your car.

Oops, I broke that one... :icon_razz

 

[phoenix6]

Kyle: Yes, she has. With one of the friends I mentioned. We're actually more of acquaintances, but we talk about cars alot and he's pretty cool.

The girl herself told me that she valued my friendship. She has told me in the past that I am her closest guy friend.

So,for Kyle & Phoenix, here is the reason she explained.
Basically, she and I both are not going to have sex before marriage. Half of you will laugh at me right there.
On our 6 month, I [finally] decided she would be OK with a french kiss. Yes, it was a slow moving relationship.
Well, she said that french kissing was basically where she wanted to stop (when she was explaining this, we hadn't previously set boundaries) and she was afraid that things might get carried away in the future and she didn't want to risk going where she didn't want to.
Now the other half are laughing too lol.

What happened was after that day she decided she wanted us to basically stop on the physical aspect of our relationship for about a month or so. Apparently it didn't make her feel comfortable enough after that so she just decided to break it off, so she didn't put herself in a position that might cause her to have sex or something like that.

So, I do respect that because I know I'm not going that far either, but it still was a bit odd anyways to break it off all the sudden.
Thats a rushed explanation, I'll clarify better when I get back, gotta run.


And, Swaq, she loves teh car. Lol.

Edit Phoenix: 1st rule of driving a manual, never teach someone stick on your car.

OK b4 I explain, I didnt TEACH her on my car, she KNOWS it very well, she just doesnt get behind power often, she drives a saturn. SHes like can I rev it honey? Sure... VROoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm

Me: WHOA WHOA WHOA WERE IN YOUR NEIGBORHOOD AND YOUR REDLINGING MY CAR!

haha good shit...


ANyways,

I ENTIRELY respect and honor your decisions, Im not laughing at all its a good thing. Respect her boundries. She does need to realize however that you will be tempted, both of you, with ANY physical act, especially if you will marry one day. Sex b4 marriage is hard, it fucks with your mind, I know why so many say it ruins relationships. My fiance is the first girl I have been with and ONLY girl I want to be with, sex, is an important thing to me, I dont take it lightly.

Take it slow with her, let her know she can trust you in all aspects, give her space if she needs it. Open communication is KEY.

My best friend was really buzzed one night and gave a speech on something he came up with for relationships, made sense though..

You have to have the COR: Communication, Observation, Respect.


If these three things are followed closely, you will be fine, of course honesty is also a big key but I tie that with repsect.

 

[trucker]

friends asking for friends, six months for a kiss, then freaking out about it

you guys are either 13 yrs old, or fundamentalist christians, either way, it ain't gonna work.
if your really young,it's self explanitory

if f.c. just by kissing you have already gone too far, remember the verse, if a man look upon a woman with lust in his heart he as already comitted adultry with her, and if your *gasp* french kissing, well it isn't without lust on some level otherwise you would still be under the 6-inch rule i was forced to live with during my private schooling days...


if young and f.c it's almost a certainty one or both of you will"grow out of it"eventually, and that would end it again as well

 

[ChadMKIII]

Kyle: Yeah, I know the 2nd go round usually doesn't work.
I'll admit that I know HS relationships just usually don't work out in general, and I wasn't like expecting our relationship to even last past it, but I did expect that after 8 months of going out with someone I would get a decent explanation as to why the hell she was breaking up with me. More of the hurt was not knowing why than the actual break up.

Swaq: Fully agree with you man. I had hung out with her (lots of mutual friends) for almost a year before I decided for sure (and worked up the courage lol) to ask her out. At this point we really are extremely close friends. Yeah I know the overall goal of dating is to find the right partner for your life, but because I start dating someone in HS I'm not expecting to marry them, or that they're expecting that either. BUT, I'm not dating just for the sheer hell of it, I only want to date girls who I could see a future, or at least longer term relationship than a few months. I'm not gonna date a girl I can see I wouldn't want to be with for a while.

Phoenix: COR, I like it. Yeah, communication and repect and integrity were some of the things I had stressed a lot in that relationship, we both did. And yes, if french kissing is her boundary, thats where I'm stopping. If I'm pushing something she doesn't want, or vice versa, there's a problem with that relationship right there. We had never really talked about boundaries, before that, so I had assumed that since she seemed receptive to the idea then it was fine (which it apparently is).

Trucker: Hahaha, yay someone else who was stuck at these Christian prisons, I mean schools. We actually have had an announcement in the bulletins the last few days reminding students that the most PDA allowed by HS couples on campus is holding hands, detention will be given for anything more. Lol. And I think fundamentalist Christian is a very undefined label. Yes we're both Christian, but not like super radical extreme or w/e you wanna call it. And no she had no prob with kissing, we did that all the time. Apparently she just was surprised by the french part of it that day. Iono, she did say it was within her boundaries tho.

And no, we're not 13