Roommate problems, what to do?
- Thread starter Kangae
- Start date
Ok, the key here is that you only need to show respect to people who show you respect in turn. This guy is a clown, so treat him as such.
He's pulling the racism card? Pull it back. Find out what he is and isn't allowed to do / touch / eat for his race and religion. For instance, wrap everything in bacon when cooking. Offer it to him - "Hey, you want some of our bacon wrapped scallops?"
Leaves his clothes lying about? Looks like trash to me. Toss 'em. Won't help with the cleaning? Toss all the smelly trash in his room.
Just bought a nice shiny new piece of electronics? Every tried putting a cell phone in the microwave for 10 seconds? Looks fine afterward, but it doesn't work.
Not allowed to put locks on the doors? lol... how the hell are they going to enforce that? Keep the original door handle, but put in one that uses a key anyway. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Besides, what's the worst that will happen - they'll boot you out of a place you don't want to be in anyway?
No lock on his door? Screw with his shit. Take half his socks and toss 'em. Put brown dye on the ass of all his underwear, and any white pants he has. Hide a fish in the pocket of his suit jacket in the closet.
Sign up for a bunch of disturbing magazines in his name - Guns & Ammo, something to do with Furries and sex, some scat publication, Gays-R-Us, and a farming mag.
During all this, treat him like some kind of vaguely intelligent animal with no rights. Make sure that he is accused of everything, even when he isn't responsible for it. Refer to him as the Islamic extremist all the time. Or just 'Bitch'.
Worst case, frame the little bastard. Accuse him of sexual harassment. GAY sexual misconduct. Or print out a copy of the terrorism manifesto and leave it in his room. Call him into the local police as a drug abuser... or better yet, dealer.
Get him really drunk and put him on a greyhound bus bound for New York... without shoes or a wallet.
I could go on for a long time here, but I've written enough of a novel, I think.
He's pulling the racism card? Pull it back. Find out what he is and isn't allowed to do / touch / eat for his race and religion. For instance, wrap everything in bacon when cooking. Offer it to him - "Hey, you want some of our bacon wrapped scallops?"
Leaves his clothes lying about? Looks like trash to me. Toss 'em. Won't help with the cleaning? Toss all the smelly trash in his room.
Just bought a nice shiny new piece of electronics? Every tried putting a cell phone in the microwave for 10 seconds? Looks fine afterward, but it doesn't work.
Not allowed to put locks on the doors? lol... how the hell are they going to enforce that? Keep the original door handle, but put in one that uses a key anyway. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Besides, what's the worst that will happen - they'll boot you out of a place you don't want to be in anyway?
No lock on his door? Screw with his shit. Take half his socks and toss 'em. Put brown dye on the ass of all his underwear, and any white pants he has. Hide a fish in the pocket of his suit jacket in the closet.
Sign up for a bunch of disturbing magazines in his name - Guns & Ammo, something to do with Furries and sex, some scat publication, Gays-R-Us, and a farming mag.
During all this, treat him like some kind of vaguely intelligent animal with no rights. Make sure that he is accused of everything, even when he isn't responsible for it. Refer to him as the Islamic extremist all the time. Or just 'Bitch'.
Worst case, frame the little bastard. Accuse him of sexual harassment. GAY sexual misconduct. Or print out a copy of the terrorism manifesto and leave it in his room. Call him into the local police as a drug abuser... or better yet, dealer.
Get him really drunk and put him on a greyhound bus bound for New York... without shoes or a wallet.
I could go on for a long time here, but I've written enough of a novel, I think.
Laxatives in the left overs and burn any clothes left on the floor then pretend they didn't exist 
Shitting naked will wear thin in time and he'll either not be a cockhead or he'll leave.
Shitting naked will wear thin in time and he'll either not be a cockhead or he'll leave.
Thats the sort of stuff that would start ww3. I love it. /Be sure to take pics of these. wait no...dont want to get caught. I never thought this forum had so much evil lying in the shadows. I love it...and if you get caught, just shrug it off and say april fools bitch!
Cut open some habanjeros and toss some seeds into those concotions he loves. Toxic ass will convince him to leave
Cut open some habanjeros and toss some seeds into those concotions he loves. Toxic ass will convince him to leave
ERA;1282715 said:
Hold on - WHAT? UFC guys jizz in their food? I've no idea what you're talking about ERA (and I'm kinda afraid to Google "UFC jizz"), but is that as fucked up as I think it is?
Was referring to an episode of UFC's The Ultimate Fighter: Team Nogueira vs Team Mir on Spike.
A whole bunch of dudes competing for a contract with the UFC living under one roof. A fighter from team nogueira was eating another fighters food from team mir.
Having heard that team noguira ate a member of team mirs food, team mir pissed in their own food for the next time the other team sneaked a bite.
When team nogueira found out they ate piss and also that team mir was eating their food, they jizzed in their sushi. And the other dude ate it.
The End.
A whole bunch of dudes competing for a contract with the UFC living under one roof. A fighter from team nogueira was eating another fighters food from team mir.
Having heard that team noguira ate a member of team mirs food, team mir pissed in their own food for the next time the other team sneaked a bite.
When team nogueira found out they ate piss and also that team mir was eating their food, they jizzed in their sushi. And the other dude ate it.
The End.
Doward;1282823 said:Christ man, remind me never to get on your bad side!
I'm old, wise, kind, and thoughtful... Unless you really piss me off, then I've got 40+ years of experience to truly fuck up your life. Furthermore, I grew up with an old retired soldier / merc who did a good job of pounding into my head that the way to win conflict is to consistently take it one step further than the other guy is willing to, and do it FIRST.Zumtizzle;1282856 said:
GrimJack;1282783 said:
Wow...thats all pretty intense, I should do some of those, the drug thing wouldn't be too hard, he has like 19 prescription bottles on his nightstand. Half of which are for painkillers.
GrimJack;1282884 said:
There is wisdom in this.... Especially with the culture you are dealing with. He knows that our culture is that of "compromise" and he would have already been fragged in his home country for this behavior. His culture is he who has the biggest stick wins... You will have to match his behavior with intimidation. Get the biggest friends you can find and have them come over, hang out, and do your dirty work. Constantly harass him to the point of him never knowing if he going to get an ass whooping or not. There's power in numbers... You will quickly learn what type of coward this turd really is.
But think before you act.... You can never really foresee the far reaching ramifications of your actions.
Well I woke up this morning, I found out that he had eaten half of my chinese from last night...
However, little does he know he ate half a container of Hunan sliced pork.
(I know in flashchat I said I got hunan three flavor, and I did, the pork was for today/bait)
However, little does he know he ate half a container of Hunan sliced pork.
(I know in flashchat I said I got hunan three flavor, and I did, the pork was for today/bait)
Good. As soon as I saw "Muslim eating my food", I thought exactly what Dachande posted.
Tell him Allah doesn't condone this, and that you LOVE food with pork.
What it comes down to is, he doesn't respect any of you and is treating you and the other roommates like he is ABOVE you. You have to cut that sonofabitch in two - let him know you mean business. Talk to the other roommate and ask: How much longer are you going to let this guy disrespect you?
Tell him Allah doesn't condone this, and that you LOVE food with pork.
What it comes down to is, he doesn't respect any of you and is treating you and the other roommates like he is ABOVE you. You have to cut that sonofabitch in two - let him know you mean business. Talk to the other roommate and ask: How much longer are you going to let this guy disrespect you?
Kangae;1283231 said:
:biglaugh::biglaugh: If you start hearing someone chanting ALLAH HU AKBAR you had better start running.
This is great....some really good advice too, but I like the lax idea, and grims of course.. can't wait to see what happens...
Keep us posted! This is going to be fun!! lol
keep feeding him that pork for a week or so and then start asking" whos been eating my pork?" Alla akba dirka dirka jaheed :barf:
keep feeding him that pork for a week or so and then start asking" whos been eating my pork?" Alla akba dirka dirka jaheed :barf:
Make some choc pudding.. put some laxitive in it... NOT to much you can fu up his insides....
Let him shit his brains out a few days... then get some Ipecac syrup
Let him puke his brains out a few days..
then back to the pudding...
sooner or later he will get the idea..
O and make sure theres not TP in bathroom.. Only his good cloths he left on floor... After he wipes his ass a few times with his own cloths he will learn..
And myself.. in your situation... if he pulled that muslim rasiest shit on me.. Id kick his ass and be happy to searve 30 days in jail..But thats just me..
Let him shit his brains out a few days... then get some Ipecac syrup
Let him puke his brains out a few days..
then back to the pudding...
sooner or later he will get the idea..
O and make sure theres not TP in bathroom.. Only his good cloths he left on floor... After he wipes his ass a few times with his own cloths he will learn..
And myself.. in your situation... if he pulled that muslim rasiest shit on me.. Id kick his ass and be happy to searve 30 days in jail..But thats just me..
fuck that... put laxative in EVERYTHING in the apartment... milk, soda, juice, any food, lax it!
just make sure you never eat at home... ahhahaha. oh and tell the other guy. he wont suspect you put laxative in everything, cause thats just crazy...
just make sure you never eat at home... ahhahaha. oh and tell the other guy. he wont suspect you put laxative in everything, cause thats just crazy...