Well most of you guys really dont know me too well. Some of you know I'm just a goofy guy that chimes in with little comments, help, and sometimes questions. Some of my close friends know me as an open guy that takes things with a grain of salt and can easily laugh off anything. Well lately I can't do that. This might be long so take a piss and grab a drink w/ a snack.
I've been in this relationship with my ex i guess you could say now for 5 years. Since 10th grade in hs. The first 2 years was rough. Although the first year was absolute awesome. It's everything a guy could ask for!! Well I got sent to basic trainning for 11 weeks and got out at the last moment because of family problems and it was eating me up and I was in no way ready to deal with any sort of military service. I came home back to my faithful gf. She wrote me everyday and kept in touch real well so I know she wasnt screwing around. I'm a pretty protective guy and I know some of us on here are but with jamie I have settled down alot. She can handle her own and isnt afriad to cuss out anyone that even dare tries to talk to her.
Well after I got back something about me changed. Then I couldnt see it but now I can and I'm greatful I got help. I dont know if it was either depression or what. Things got bad between Jamie and I mainly on my part. I wasnt me I was someone else. To sum it up I was a real ass hole and even my friends saw that. Jamie and i split up for what I thought was good. During that six months I had severe depression and couldnt eat for days and got sick. I was hospitalized and stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks. Saw a shrink for a few months and was on medication. Over Time I started feeling better and alive agian so I got off my medication and quit seeing the shrink and everything has been well since.
We werent together for 6 months and she was with this mathew guy she met at church. Pretty decent guy but turned out to be a big titty baby. Anyways that got on her nerves. And well we started talking agian. She was staying with her aunt and uncle and they are very christian people and there is nothing wrong with that at all. But We've never really I guess you could say see eye to eye. I dunno mississippi people maybe who knows. No offense to them. But they didnt like me and I didnt like them so we had to be on the low for a while till she moved back to her mothers.
Well she moved back to her mothers house and again we were together for sometime and talks of getting married and having children came into discussion. We were both for it and within a few months she came up pregnant. (the pill + antibiotices = OWNED) No big deal I got a job I actually moved to Ft myers for a month and was going to school out there and came back home to take care of Jamie. Well the only car we had at the time got wrecked by her and her friend at the time. So I was out of a job for sometime. Pretty much till the baby was born. Oct 15 2003. Luckily I have a great family and money was no issue. Anyways we both got jobs and started working shortly after. Things weren't so bad except the fact she always got pissed when I would go hang out with my friends friday and saturday nights but I would always come home to her before 11pm... I've even brought her out there with me and she hated it because all we did was stand around and talk.(no drinking at all) And till this day we all still do the samething, no big deal right? WRONG! Jamie hated it and cussed me all the time about it. Well I over looked that and didnt let it bother me. Amongst other things she didnt approve of over time she got upset over.
As I mentioned earlier about me being protective and such well this is where that side comes in for me. It started off with her bogus friends she thought were the greatest things alive. But I'll use her half sister for example. to sum it up she would ask jamie to do things with her and for her untill she gets pissed off and cusses jamie and they dont talk for months. This happened on 3 seperate occasions. Also her 2 friends that I tried warning her about, that they were just using her for a place to stay and they wont really have anything to do with her once they leave. Came to be the truth. Well the last friend I tried to explain to Jamie. Look im not trying to control you and tell you what to do but its getting to the point where im taking it personally and it hurts me and pisses me off to see you get upset and hurt. That doesnt seem to get thru jamies thick head. So she still goes on about how Im tryin to run her life and such.
Another occasion was her drinking. Dont get me wrong I dont mind drinking sometimes but when I'm not around and such she can get into some possible trouble. One time I came home to find she downed a whole bottle of Vodka. Although it was funny for a short period of time the seriousness set in. So I tried explaining to her countless times over to lay low with drinking and such but no I'm tryin to run her... I mean she doesnt see it now because I remember the things my step father told me before he passed away and I was younger and I didnt seem to care about it or think whatever. If only I could shake his hand and thank him now because I'm so greatful for the advice he gave me and I see now is the truth. I'm just tryin to look out for the person I love is that wrong? I'm just trying to stop something before something bad happens. I just wouldnt be able to live with myself if something serious happened.
Well about a month and a half ago I finally get over the argueing crap and her getting the final word and try to over talk me. So I've simply told her to shut up or I just wouldnt talk to her. A week later we talk and such and start being cool with one another agian but not reall together. We would chat when i'd stop by to visit my son and what not. Then one night we had a serious conversation about things that I took to heart because I love her so damn much. Anyways we agreed on being friends and slowly work things back out.
A day after christmas she goes with her cousin to Chili's and some guy gives her his phone number... Anyways no big deal blah blah blah friends shit. She told me about it and said if she even thought about dating anyone that she would have him meet me first and I should do the same so I agreed to that.
I asked more about this guy and he's 20 but younger then me has 2 kids and from what she said weighs more then I do. Not tryin to offend any members by saying FAT. Anyways she told me he asked and she told him look I just got out of a serious 5 year relationship and such with a child and I'm not looking for anyone right now. And agian her and I talked things out and seemed like we had a good plan going on.
Anyways my buddy invited me to FWB florida with him for new years. I dont have a gf right now so why should it matter. Im free! Anyways i called her to see how she was and such before new years cause I wanted to talk to her during the count down and such. Well she informs me she is on a date with this guy and blah blah bullshit and I asked well you gonna be home before the ball drops. yea i dont plan on stayin out here late I need to get home. Ok i'll talk to you later. Well an hour before the ball drops I called to see if she made it home ok. Nope she's still with ol fuck. I asked her when she was gonna be home and she said later and I said alright you aint gonna do anything stupid with ol fat fuck like kiss him or fuck him eh? No justin I'm not I promise. Well she kissed the slob and she lied about that which im not gonna lie pissed me off because if I knew something like that was gonna happen I would have went with this crowd of girls I met at the hotel. DAMNIT
Anyways we argue and scream at each other and I try to bring up key point which I cant see to ever get an answer out of cause Im either getting over talked or hung up on.
Well I get home today and call her and TRY to talk but she is being a bitch and such and well guys you know how that is. She goes on trying to explain that I dont care for her and I dont take care of her. Well I have taken her out countless times, bought her clothing, jewelry, and even offered to pay her fines.. lol. I even plan to give her my other car after I get finished fixing it and the supra. But I dont care? We've even talked about it and after I get both fixed looking for a house? I dunno guys I'm just really upset because I've invested so much love and time into something that all it takes is some bitch with a wild hair in her ass to wreck in a matter of days. Something that took years to build. I may look like a big guy and can throw a good beating in the ring but outside that im just a big ol teddy bear. Sure people disagree on things and thats normal and nothings perfect but right now I'm torn up some. I dont know what to do or who to turn to. I need some moral support and someone to talk to.
Don't get me wrong I know its not the end of the world although it feels like it and I can have pretty much any girl I want that I pass by each day and im not tryin to brag. But if I would have known what I do now I would have done had one and not only that but I only want 1 and that was jamie so if this is it between her and I then I dont plan on getting into another relationship for sometime. I'm just really lost right now. And for some of you that know me outside of the forums know that I usually can just laugh even the most serious things off I cant seem to laugh this off.
Funny how things turn out. BTW im not saying all of it is her fault because I share some of the fault but alot of it could have easily been talked over only if she wanted to listen or to talk. Either way I always end up with the shit end of the deal
I've been in this relationship with my ex i guess you could say now for 5 years. Since 10th grade in hs. The first 2 years was rough. Although the first year was absolute awesome. It's everything a guy could ask for!! Well I got sent to basic trainning for 11 weeks and got out at the last moment because of family problems and it was eating me up and I was in no way ready to deal with any sort of military service. I came home back to my faithful gf. She wrote me everyday and kept in touch real well so I know she wasnt screwing around. I'm a pretty protective guy and I know some of us on here are but with jamie I have settled down alot. She can handle her own and isnt afriad to cuss out anyone that even dare tries to talk to her.
Well after I got back something about me changed. Then I couldnt see it but now I can and I'm greatful I got help. I dont know if it was either depression or what. Things got bad between Jamie and I mainly on my part. I wasnt me I was someone else. To sum it up I was a real ass hole and even my friends saw that. Jamie and i split up for what I thought was good. During that six months I had severe depression and couldnt eat for days and got sick. I was hospitalized and stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks. Saw a shrink for a few months and was on medication. Over Time I started feeling better and alive agian so I got off my medication and quit seeing the shrink and everything has been well since.
We werent together for 6 months and she was with this mathew guy she met at church. Pretty decent guy but turned out to be a big titty baby. Anyways that got on her nerves. And well we started talking agian. She was staying with her aunt and uncle and they are very christian people and there is nothing wrong with that at all. But We've never really I guess you could say see eye to eye. I dunno mississippi people maybe who knows. No offense to them. But they didnt like me and I didnt like them so we had to be on the low for a while till she moved back to her mothers.
Well she moved back to her mothers house and again we were together for sometime and talks of getting married and having children came into discussion. We were both for it and within a few months she came up pregnant. (the pill + antibiotices = OWNED) No big deal I got a job I actually moved to Ft myers for a month and was going to school out there and came back home to take care of Jamie. Well the only car we had at the time got wrecked by her and her friend at the time. So I was out of a job for sometime. Pretty much till the baby was born. Oct 15 2003. Luckily I have a great family and money was no issue. Anyways we both got jobs and started working shortly after. Things weren't so bad except the fact she always got pissed when I would go hang out with my friends friday and saturday nights but I would always come home to her before 11pm... I've even brought her out there with me and she hated it because all we did was stand around and talk.(no drinking at all) And till this day we all still do the samething, no big deal right? WRONG! Jamie hated it and cussed me all the time about it. Well I over looked that and didnt let it bother me. Amongst other things she didnt approve of over time she got upset over.
As I mentioned earlier about me being protective and such well this is where that side comes in for me. It started off with her bogus friends she thought were the greatest things alive. But I'll use her half sister for example. to sum it up she would ask jamie to do things with her and for her untill she gets pissed off and cusses jamie and they dont talk for months. This happened on 3 seperate occasions. Also her 2 friends that I tried warning her about, that they were just using her for a place to stay and they wont really have anything to do with her once they leave. Came to be the truth. Well the last friend I tried to explain to Jamie. Look im not trying to control you and tell you what to do but its getting to the point where im taking it personally and it hurts me and pisses me off to see you get upset and hurt. That doesnt seem to get thru jamies thick head. So she still goes on about how Im tryin to run her life and such.
Another occasion was her drinking. Dont get me wrong I dont mind drinking sometimes but when I'm not around and such she can get into some possible trouble. One time I came home to find she downed a whole bottle of Vodka. Although it was funny for a short period of time the seriousness set in. So I tried explaining to her countless times over to lay low with drinking and such but no I'm tryin to run her... I mean she doesnt see it now because I remember the things my step father told me before he passed away and I was younger and I didnt seem to care about it or think whatever. If only I could shake his hand and thank him now because I'm so greatful for the advice he gave me and I see now is the truth. I'm just tryin to look out for the person I love is that wrong? I'm just trying to stop something before something bad happens. I just wouldnt be able to live with myself if something serious happened.
Well about a month and a half ago I finally get over the argueing crap and her getting the final word and try to over talk me. So I've simply told her to shut up or I just wouldnt talk to her. A week later we talk and such and start being cool with one another agian but not reall together. We would chat when i'd stop by to visit my son and what not. Then one night we had a serious conversation about things that I took to heart because I love her so damn much. Anyways we agreed on being friends and slowly work things back out.
A day after christmas she goes with her cousin to Chili's and some guy gives her his phone number... Anyways no big deal blah blah blah friends shit. She told me about it and said if she even thought about dating anyone that she would have him meet me first and I should do the same so I agreed to that.
I asked more about this guy and he's 20 but younger then me has 2 kids and from what she said weighs more then I do. Not tryin to offend any members by saying FAT. Anyways she told me he asked and she told him look I just got out of a serious 5 year relationship and such with a child and I'm not looking for anyone right now. And agian her and I talked things out and seemed like we had a good plan going on.
Anyways my buddy invited me to FWB florida with him for new years. I dont have a gf right now so why should it matter. Im free! Anyways i called her to see how she was and such before new years cause I wanted to talk to her during the count down and such. Well she informs me she is on a date with this guy and blah blah bullshit and I asked well you gonna be home before the ball drops. yea i dont plan on stayin out here late I need to get home. Ok i'll talk to you later. Well an hour before the ball drops I called to see if she made it home ok. Nope she's still with ol fuck. I asked her when she was gonna be home and she said later and I said alright you aint gonna do anything stupid with ol fat fuck like kiss him or fuck him eh? No justin I'm not I promise. Well she kissed the slob and she lied about that which im not gonna lie pissed me off because if I knew something like that was gonna happen I would have went with this crowd of girls I met at the hotel. DAMNIT
Anyways we argue and scream at each other and I try to bring up key point which I cant see to ever get an answer out of cause Im either getting over talked or hung up on.
Well I get home today and call her and TRY to talk but she is being a bitch and such and well guys you know how that is. She goes on trying to explain that I dont care for her and I dont take care of her. Well I have taken her out countless times, bought her clothing, jewelry, and even offered to pay her fines.. lol. I even plan to give her my other car after I get finished fixing it and the supra. But I dont care? We've even talked about it and after I get both fixed looking for a house? I dunno guys I'm just really upset because I've invested so much love and time into something that all it takes is some bitch with a wild hair in her ass to wreck in a matter of days. Something that took years to build. I may look like a big guy and can throw a good beating in the ring but outside that im just a big ol teddy bear. Sure people disagree on things and thats normal and nothings perfect but right now I'm torn up some. I dont know what to do or who to turn to. I need some moral support and someone to talk to.
Don't get me wrong I know its not the end of the world although it feels like it and I can have pretty much any girl I want that I pass by each day and im not tryin to brag. But if I would have known what I do now I would have done had one and not only that but I only want 1 and that was jamie so if this is it between her and I then I dont plan on getting into another relationship for sometime. I'm just really lost right now. And for some of you that know me outside of the forums know that I usually can just laugh even the most serious things off I cant seem to laugh this off.
Funny how things turn out. BTW im not saying all of it is her fault because I share some of the fault but alot of it could have easily been talked over only if she wanted to listen or to talk. Either way I always end up with the shit end of the deal