I feel compelled to point out that there is nothing wrong with sitting down with her and trying to nail down what it is that she wants out of life, either. Don't discuss it, just list out everything that you both want, hopes, dreams, the works.
When you are done with that, look at the lists and decide if they are compatible.
If they are, *then* decide if you want to try to pursue the same goals together.
I don't mind advocating support for a loved one if they are just going through a difficult time - I've both given and recieved in the same situation. The key is to make certain there is a relationship to salvage - if you want to continue, and she wants to walk away, or vice versa, then you obviously have irreconcilable differences.
I hate to suggest it, as I haven't had much success with it, (read, none at all) but professional councelling has helped some people I know. Being willing to attend counselling is usually a sign that both people want to make it work, too.
For the folks that think it's too much work - all relationships are work, the key is that you shouldn't mind doing the work, if you start to resent the work, the relationship has some obvious problems.
Good luck again.
PS: Trust me when I say that MANY of us know what this means to you, because many of us have been in your shoes. The sharp glittering edges may have worn off the memories by now, but they are still very much there.
When you are done with that, look at the lists and decide if they are compatible.
If they are, *then* decide if you want to try to pursue the same goals together.
I don't mind advocating support for a loved one if they are just going through a difficult time - I've both given and recieved in the same situation. The key is to make certain there is a relationship to salvage - if you want to continue, and she wants to walk away, or vice versa, then you obviously have irreconcilable differences.
I hate to suggest it, as I haven't had much success with it, (read, none at all) but professional councelling has helped some people I know. Being willing to attend counselling is usually a sign that both people want to make it work, too.
For the folks that think it's too much work - all relationships are work, the key is that you shouldn't mind doing the work, if you start to resent the work, the relationship has some obvious problems.
Good luck again.
PS: Trust me when I say that MANY of us know what this means to you, because many of us have been in your shoes. The sharp glittering edges may have worn off the memories by now, but they are still very much there.
