Crazy job stories... Let's hear em!

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jesse420

New Member
Aug 11, 2008
8
0
0
steep falls
my room mate used to work for like a retirement home and he was working and he got in a elevator and this old c-neil guy was in it and when the doors closed he took his dick out and started whacking off in the elevator and he did'nt no what to do so he waiting until the elevator opened then he went and told his manager I thought it was pretty funny
 
Clueless

Clueless

Banned
Feb 22, 2006
980
0
0
38
Columbus, Indiana
jesse420;1139547 said:
my room mate used to work for like a retirement home and he was working and he got in a elevator and this old c-neil guy was in it and when the doors closed he took his dick out and started whacking off in the elevator and he did'nt no what to do so he waiting until the elevator opened then he went and told his manager I thought it was pretty funny
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that hurt my head... :1zhelp:
 
TurboFreak

TurboFreak

NOBAMA
Jan 22, 2006
1,374
1
0
East Coast
Facime;1138568 said:
Eons ago I was living in Eugene OR and was bouncing around to different print shops finding work where I could. I was young and irresponsible and on probation at the time and had to maintain work as part of my P.O.'s requirements.

I got a job at this dive print shop owned and managed by a guy not much older than me who had inherited it after his father had commited suicide after killing his own wife. Pretty sad stuff actually but the guy was a complete wreck of a human being. He was constantly doing coke and/or crying histerically in his office. He hired his trailer trash girlfriend to run the front counter, and they were always fighting and yelling at each other even right in front of customers, when they werent fucking in his office or in the pre-press room.

The only other press operator working there was a friend of the owner as well, but you would never know it the way they acted towards each other. One day after a disagreement over some stupid shit the owner grabbed the guy by the neck and started choking him. Only after I yelled at them to knock it off did they stop struggling with each other.

The owner was a paranoid fuck and used to keep the back fire door chained and padlocked so "no one could steal from him". Well one day a ballast in one of the flourescents started smoking and then burst into flames. I had to make my way though toxic fumes to get out of the maze that was the pressroom.

I quit a few days after that and told my P.O. about what happened. He said I was always making excuses as to why I wasnt holding a job and that I was one more screw up away from violating my probation and having to serve my 1 year suspended sentence. Two days later my car died on an overpass and who should pull up behind me first but a state cop. After helping me get my car off the road (nice of him actually) he decided to run my licence to find it suspended....

A week later I left the state and didnt go back for almost 20 years.
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Sooooo did you run? Get caught? Tell more?!
 
EdT.Mk3

EdT.Mk3

Sorta Secret Supra
Aug 21, 2008
157
0
0
San Diego
whowouldfigga;1139555 said:
When I graduated from high school I got a job at a local funeral home. Worked there for five years. Good pay, good hours, plenty of down time for studying. The rest I won't mention.
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You were sleeping in coffins?
 
W

Who

Supramania Contributor
Feb 13, 2008
570
0
0
Palm Beach, FL
www.smartmediarepair.com
DreamerTheresa;1139588 said:
You were squeezing dead boobies, weren't you?
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Ha! you got me...LOL...No seriously it was along the lines of blood and guts. Suicides with large caliber handguns and shotguns. Bodies found in water weeks later. Fist fights (men and women) at the viewings and internments. Santaria and Voodoo rituals. The trips to the Medical examiners office were the most interesting.

On a serious note the worst times were the services involving children. Sorry to be a kill joy.

EdT.Mk3;1139775 said:
You were sleeping in coffins?
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Funny you mention that because I did have some photos of the employees, not me of course, playing dead in the coffins.
 
NJBoostin

NJBoostin

New Member
Dec 29, 2007
78
0
0
New Jersey
I cant image ever working in a funeral home^ That sounds horrible seeing that shit come in and seeing services with children and what not guess you get used to it ? i would have such a hard time working there lol
 
87soup

87soup

F*CK SMOG CHECKS!!!
Jan 23, 2006
864
0
0
Sacramento
I use to work at Big5 in AZ and i was facing the store to find a human turd on the shelf under a baseball helmet.... NO JOKE!!!
A freakin POOP, from a human quite large... On the shelf.... To this day i dont know how it got there!!!:aigo:
 
Clueless

Clueless

Banned
Feb 22, 2006
980
0
0
38
Columbus, Indiana
87soup;1140467 said:
I use to work at Big5 in AZ and i was facing the store to find a human turd on the shelf under a baseball helmet.... NO JOKE!!!
A freakin POOP, from a human quite large... On the shelf.... To this day i dont know how it got there!!!:aigo:
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someone shat there?
 
flight doc89

flight doc89

Registered Murse
Apr 21, 2006
227
0
0
Bessemer, Alabama, United States
iHartSupra;1136937 said:
Worked at an airport (Flying Cloud Airport, Eden Prairie MN) as a lineman. Was the first to respond to a crash...ended up pulling both pilot and co from the aircraft (Piper Archer iirc) only moments before fire spread from tire to wings...100LL burns like a mofo.
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I was a lineman at Tuscaloosa Regional Airport (Tuscaloosa, AL) for a little while. The secretary would get bad migraines every now and then, and me and the mechanics knew to GTFO of the FBO and hide in the hangar when she was having a bad day. One day, me and a mechanic are standing around in the FBO when a pilot comes walking in. This pilot loved to mess with the secretary (*not mess with as in hitting on her or anything, just do little stuff that would on some days mildly irritate her and entertain us, and on other days piss her off).
She looks at him and says, "Don't mess with me today. It's a BAD day." (she sounded scary when she said it too).
She turns around in her chair to grab something off the fax machine, he reaches over the desk and moves a folder around or something (something small), when she turns around and sees him. There was fire in her eyes as she pretty much screamed "You SONOFABITCH!!" through the FBO. I walked out the door onto the apron, and the mechanic took the front hallway into the hangar and we both met on the far side of the hangar to laugh and hide from her.

The airport fire marshal told me this story: a coworker of mine (as in, MY coworker, not the marshal's) topped off one of the FBO's C-172's, and parked the fuel truck in its place on the apron. He goes inside for 5 minutes, walks outside, and sees the truck on fire (the avgas truck is parked next to the jet truck, by the way). He calls the fire marshall on his cell phone, "The fuel truck's on FIRE!!!"
*fire marshall replies* "Holy shit, I'm on the way. You got a fire bottle?"
*lineman replies* "hell no I'm getting the fuck outta here"

Actually, he WAS outta there. He was hauling ass driving away while he called the fire marshal.
 
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