Crazy job stories... Let's hear em!
- Thread starter black89targa
- Start date
I work in automotive repair. Sinsha is a customers favorite word. Since ya did my alignment my check engine light came on. Since ya did my oil change my car pulls right. Since ya changed my spark plugs the steering wheel vibrates at 60mph. *sigh* people are very annoying sometimes.
Oh God, where could i possibly start? Let's just say in my travels i have encountered a variety of people. I'm having one of those stories right now.I'm in atlanta, parked under a high value HP load. It dosen't deleiver untill the morning, so i'm sitting in a yard with an electric fence(rough neighborhood).About 5 mminutes ago the rent a cop finally noticed i've been here about 10 hours, informing me that i can't park here "hooked to the trailer".
so, like any good little smart ass driver, i dropped the trailer, and pulled out about 3 feet in front of it.I know damn well i'm prolly suppposed to put the tractor into a different lot, but the guy was so angry he failed to mention this.So here i sit, waiting for his return, we'll see what happens.....not my fault he's being a dick about it, i've done exactly as he asked.
Now for the real story. A few years ago, i was sitting at a TA in Wheeling WV, when i noticed an unpleasant smell headed my way.After a few minutes, "she" came into view. This chick was in the 350 range, wearing a wife beater, sweat pants, and rubber boots.She had apparently forgotten the bra that morning, i'm guessing her size was about a 54 long. A moustache thicker than mine, greasy hair that was matted in clumps, the clothing was soiled badly. And as i've noted already, i smelled her 3-4 trucks over. Naturally, she focoused in on me, asking for a ride.Um, no company policy forbids me from hauling passengers(a rule that gets relaxed for young hot women).she looks at me, and tells me"please? i'll even have sex with you, look i've got condoms right here!"i'm guessing with that line, she's prolly still sitting there looking for a ride.Would have taken a blowtorch to clean that woman up.
so, like any good little smart ass driver, i dropped the trailer, and pulled out about 3 feet in front of it.I know damn well i'm prolly suppposed to put the tractor into a different lot, but the guy was so angry he failed to mention this.So here i sit, waiting for his return, we'll see what happens.....not my fault he's being a dick about it, i've done exactly as he asked.
Now for the real story. A few years ago, i was sitting at a TA in Wheeling WV, when i noticed an unpleasant smell headed my way.After a few minutes, "she" came into view. This chick was in the 350 range, wearing a wife beater, sweat pants, and rubber boots.She had apparently forgotten the bra that morning, i'm guessing her size was about a 54 long. A moustache thicker than mine, greasy hair that was matted in clumps, the clothing was soiled badly. And as i've noted already, i smelled her 3-4 trucks over. Naturally, she focoused in on me, asking for a ride.Um, no company policy forbids me from hauling passengers(a rule that gets relaxed for young hot women).she looks at me, and tells me"please? i'll even have sex with you, look i've got condoms right here!"i'm guessing with that line, she's prolly still sitting there looking for a ride.Would have taken a blowtorch to clean that woman up.
Unfortunately working in an office really is like the movie office space: boring. I do drafting for a big engineering firm... anyway:
I've worked on a job that blew the budget by almost 7 figures (vice president of the company almost had an anurism). I worked a bit on a water treatment plant in Ontario that didn't work when they were done... and the company had to buy it back from the client (a $23 million water treatment plant that doesn't treat water, lol, that was almost 2 years ago, and it still doesn't work yet; GG nubs). Unfortunately the latest fiasco is on a project I can't talk about... but the stupidity of some engineers and CAD designers is sometimes too much to bear. I have issues delegating some work due to the fact I don't want some/most individuals touching my projects. By touching I mean fucking up.
It's been a bad day and it's only 8:30am. Sorry.
I've worked on a job that blew the budget by almost 7 figures (vice president of the company almost had an anurism). I worked a bit on a water treatment plant in Ontario that didn't work when they were done... and the company had to buy it back from the client (a $23 million water treatment plant that doesn't treat water, lol, that was almost 2 years ago, and it still doesn't work yet; GG nubs). Unfortunately the latest fiasco is on a project I can't talk about... but the stupidity of some engineers and CAD designers is sometimes too much to bear. I have issues delegating some work due to the fact I don't want some/most individuals touching my projects. By touching I mean fucking up.
It's been a bad day and it's only 8:30am. Sorry.
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wetboosteddreams;1138223 said:Being a former groomer myself, I have to hear this story!
Where I work, we board, train, groom, and have doggy day care.
Two new dogs were in doggy day care the Monday before Labor Day, a mini schnauzer and an American Bulldog mix.
Well, the bulldog decided she didn't like the schnauzer. And bit his leg. Schnauzer bit back, and the bulldog took him by the neck.
And wouldn't. let. go.
She had four people on her trying to pry her mouth apart.
One of the girls runs into the bathing room, grabs the fire extinguisher. I didn't get to see the details. Bah.
They'd used a regular hose on the bulldog to try to get her to let go, too, and she didn't budge.
So our bather let loose with the fire extinguisher right in the dog's mouth. It STILL took her a good 10 seconds to let go.
Well, fire extinguisher triggered our sprinklers.
Sprinklers called the fire dept.
My sister, who works down the road from me and happened to be going to the bank is calling me frantically going "WTF?! I hope you're okay!"
So everyone flies into the bathing room to wash the chemical crap off the dogs. The bulldog was scraped up around the face from the schnauzer's flailing.
The schnauzer's neck was bruised, but the skin or his neck itself wasn't broken. He just had two puncture wounds on the inside of his thigh where the bulldog got him initially.
TA DA!
Moar:
Crazy Woman comes in with a bichon who's matted to the skin.
CW: "OH! I want his hair cut just a TINY bit!"
me: "Well, he's matted... I can only..."
CW: "MATTED? You know, EVERYWHERE I take him says the same thing, but they NEVER show me!"
me: "Well, no problem." I start pointing out exactly where his mats were (which was everywhere). As soon as I do this, she turns around and stops paying attention to me. "Right, so, I have to shave him down."
CW: "WHAT?! Can't you demat him???"
me: "Yeah. It'll be ridiculously painful for your dog and take all day, but it's doable. I charge $35 an hour for dematting, this is a SEVERAL HOUR job."
CW: "Oh. That's too much. Just do what you have to do."
me: "Well, then, I'm shaving him. And you're 35 minutes late, so he won't be ready 'til the end of the day. 5:30 or so."
So I shaved the damn dog.
And she calls at 4:20 pissed off and demanding to know why her dogs weren't ready yet. And then screeched at my manager when she was told IT'LL BE 5:30!
So me and another girl finished shaving the dog to have the damn thing done by 5.
And I brought the dog out.
And the woman starts screaming.
CW: "I TOLD THAT GIRL NOT TO SHAVE HIM!!"
me: "Ma'am. THAT GIRL? Was me. I TOLD YOU he was MATTED AND I HAD TO SHAVE HIM."
CW: "NO! I TOLD THAT GIRL NOT TO SHAVE HIM!"
me: "YOU TALKED TO ME! THERE WAS NO OTHER GIRL. I SHOWED you where his mats were. You said to do what I had to do. I said I had to shave him. You were FINE with that this morning."
CW: "I AM THE CUSTOMER YOU DO WHAT -= I =- WANT RAAAAAAWWWWRRG!"
me: "I don't have time for this. Here's your dog."
CW: *continues to yell at everyone in the building*
She's been fired as a client.
What kills me is that it was a very sweet dog. People like her don't deserve dogs. Especially since they obviously never brush them.
Crazy Woman comes in with a bichon who's matted to the skin.
CW: "OH! I want his hair cut just a TINY bit!"
me: "Well, he's matted... I can only..."
CW: "MATTED? You know, EVERYWHERE I take him says the same thing, but they NEVER show me!"
me: "Well, no problem." I start pointing out exactly where his mats were (which was everywhere). As soon as I do this, she turns around and stops paying attention to me. "Right, so, I have to shave him down."
CW: "WHAT?! Can't you demat him???"
me: "Yeah. It'll be ridiculously painful for your dog and take all day, but it's doable. I charge $35 an hour for dematting, this is a SEVERAL HOUR job."
CW: "Oh. That's too much. Just do what you have to do."
me: "Well, then, I'm shaving him. And you're 35 minutes late, so he won't be ready 'til the end of the day. 5:30 or so."
So I shaved the damn dog.
And she calls at 4:20 pissed off and demanding to know why her dogs weren't ready yet. And then screeched at my manager when she was told IT'LL BE 5:30!
So me and another girl finished shaving the dog to have the damn thing done by 5.
And I brought the dog out.
And the woman starts screaming.
CW: "I TOLD THAT GIRL NOT TO SHAVE HIM!!"
me: "Ma'am. THAT GIRL? Was me. I TOLD YOU he was MATTED AND I HAD TO SHAVE HIM."
CW: "NO! I TOLD THAT GIRL NOT TO SHAVE HIM!"
me: "YOU TALKED TO ME! THERE WAS NO OTHER GIRL. I SHOWED you where his mats were. You said to do what I had to do. I said I had to shave him. You were FINE with that this morning."
CW: "I AM THE CUSTOMER YOU DO WHAT -= I =- WANT RAAAAAAWWWWRRG!"
me: "I don't have time for this. Here's your dog."
CW: *continues to yell at everyone in the building*
She's been fired as a client.
What kills me is that it was a very sweet dog. People like her don't deserve dogs. Especially since they obviously never brush them.
used to work at a driving range on a busy rd. middle country, selden, well saw a bum wearing shorts make his way up into a clothing drop off bin. then an old gmc truck backs out of the lot and hits the bin while hes halway in. it rolls around about 3 times and the guy acts like nothing happened becuase he was drunk and could barely talk. My manager and i was out ther and he told him to leave after he got some pants because it was pretty cold that day.
Another one is from when i worked at waldbaums and this 47 yr old cart guy comes back from the pub in the same shopping center drunk. No one notices or cares because he looks like that all the time. first thing he does is drive the pallet jack off the loading dock and then throws a can of peas at some kid workign theres face. then I try to help him and he grabs the kid with his retard strengh and attempts to throw him in the bailer. Yes a bailer. so i call for help and we restrain him and the cops come.
Another one is from when i worked at waldbaums and this 47 yr old cart guy comes back from the pub in the same shopping center drunk. No one notices or cares because he looks like that all the time. first thing he does is drive the pallet jack off the loading dock and then throws a can of peas at some kid workign theres face. then I try to help him and he grabs the kid with his retard strengh and attempts to throw him in the bailer. Yes a bailer. so i call for help and we restrain him and the cops come.
I served tables at Outback during college. This good ol boy comes in w/ "the wife" and informs me that its their anniversary. He's dressed in faded nut huggers, boots, and a wifebeater. She's dressed like a normal trailer trash wife. He 'allows' her to order a 'sodie' while he got a Busch beer. I give them a few minutes to check out the menu; he orders the rib eye (burnt) and she got the fill-it mig-nin (well done). Not the fillet mignon, the friggin fill-it mig-nin. They looked like the type that would order like that, but I really wasn't suprised until I returned to find he was putting ketchup on his steak. Who does that!!??!?!
The bill came out to like $64.xx. He handed me $67 and swaggered out like he just tipped me a grand or something. You could still smell him 5 min after he left the booth.
The bill came out to like $64.xx. He handed me $67 and swaggered out like he just tipped me a grand or something. You could still smell him 5 min after he left the booth.
^^lol thats pretty funny. Im fortunate to never have had to work in the food industry.
Eons ago I was living in Eugene OR and was bouncing around to different print shops finding work where I could. I was young and irresponsible and on probation at the time and had to maintain work as part of my P.O.'s requirements.
I got a job at this dive print shop owned and managed by a guy not much older than me who had inherited it after his father had commited suicide after killing his own wife. Pretty sad stuff actually but the guy was a complete wreck of a human being. He was constantly doing coke and/or crying histerically in his office. He hired his trailer trash girlfriend to run the front counter, and they were always fighting and yelling at each other even right in front of customers, when they werent fucking in his office or in the pre-press room.
The only other press operator working there was a friend of the owner as well, but you would never know it the way they acted towards each other. One day after a disagreement over some stupid shit the owner grabbed the guy by the neck and started choking him. Only after I yelled at them to knock it off did they stop struggling with each other.
The owner was a paranoid fuck and used to keep the back fire door chained and padlocked so "no one could steal from him". Well one day a ballast in one of the flourescents started smoking and then burst into flames. I had to make my way though toxic fumes to get out of the maze that was the pressroom.
I quit a few days after that and told my P.O. about what happened. He said I was always making excuses as to why I wasnt holding a job and that I was one more screw up away from violating my probation and having to serve my 1 year suspended sentence. Two days later my car died on an overpass and who should pull up behind me first but a state cop. After helping me get my car off the road (nice of him actually) he decided to run my licence to find it suspended....
A week later I left the state and didnt go back for almost 20 years.
Eons ago I was living in Eugene OR and was bouncing around to different print shops finding work where I could. I was young and irresponsible and on probation at the time and had to maintain work as part of my P.O.'s requirements.
I got a job at this dive print shop owned and managed by a guy not much older than me who had inherited it after his father had commited suicide after killing his own wife. Pretty sad stuff actually but the guy was a complete wreck of a human being. He was constantly doing coke and/or crying histerically in his office. He hired his trailer trash girlfriend to run the front counter, and they were always fighting and yelling at each other even right in front of customers, when they werent fucking in his office or in the pre-press room.
The only other press operator working there was a friend of the owner as well, but you would never know it the way they acted towards each other. One day after a disagreement over some stupid shit the owner grabbed the guy by the neck and started choking him. Only after I yelled at them to knock it off did they stop struggling with each other.
The owner was a paranoid fuck and used to keep the back fire door chained and padlocked so "no one could steal from him". Well one day a ballast in one of the flourescents started smoking and then burst into flames. I had to make my way though toxic fumes to get out of the maze that was the pressroom.
I quit a few days after that and told my P.O. about what happened. He said I was always making excuses as to why I wasnt holding a job and that I was one more screw up away from violating my probation and having to serve my 1 year suspended sentence. Two days later my car died on an overpass and who should pull up behind me first but a state cop. After helping me get my car off the road (nice of him actually) he decided to run my licence to find it suspended....
A week later I left the state and didnt go back for almost 20 years.
im a meat cutter at a local grocery store, and ive gotten this a total of 3 times that ive been working there so far.
Lady comes up to me and ask me if we have any smoked ham hocks. So i show her to them and i begin to walk back to go back to cutting meat and shes like (HEY THESE ARNT HAM HOCKS!!) our labeling machine labels them as PORK HOCKS. so i approach her again and shes like "These arnt ham hocks i thought u said these where ham hocks." immediatly i wanted to be an ass but i told her that these are ham hocks its just our labeling machine labels them as pork hocks. In a very nasty tone she says "Well i dont see ham hocks on here so i am not going to buy them."
ME: ok... so where does ham come from?
LADY: Well ham comes from a pig
ME: and a PIG is????!
LADY: Oh... well... sorry to bother you..
sometimes people can be so dumb.. lol
Lady comes up to me and ask me if we have any smoked ham hocks. So i show her to them and i begin to walk back to go back to cutting meat and shes like (HEY THESE ARNT HAM HOCKS!!) our labeling machine labels them as PORK HOCKS. so i approach her again and shes like "These arnt ham hocks i thought u said these where ham hocks." immediatly i wanted to be an ass but i told her that these are ham hocks its just our labeling machine labels them as pork hocks. In a very nasty tone she says "Well i dont see ham hocks on here so i am not going to buy them."
ME: ok... so where does ham come from?
LADY: Well ham comes from a pig
ME: and a PIG is????!
LADY: Oh... well... sorry to bother you..
sometimes people can be so dumb.. lol
Cycoclown just reminded me of when I used to work in a deli.
A lady comes up to the counter, I've seen her there purchasing things from the deli before, but hadn't actually helped her until this point. Keep in mind that the entire time, her voice is fast and squeaking, that's the best way I can describe it.
Me: "Hi, can I help you?"
Lady: "I want a sandwich."
Me: "Sure, what would you like on it?"
Lady: "Mayonaise. LOTS. Tomatoes. 9 slices. Turkey. Sliced THIN. On sliced bread."
Me: "Alright, what kinda of bread would you like? I've got rye, white, or wheat."
Lady: "Whiteorwheat!"
Me: "Wha...wha? What kind miss? I've got-"
Lady: "Whiteorwheat!"
Me: ".....uh...ok." :squint:
So I gave her a slice of white, and a slice of wheat.
A lady comes up to the counter, I've seen her there purchasing things from the deli before, but hadn't actually helped her until this point. Keep in mind that the entire time, her voice is fast and squeaking, that's the best way I can describe it.
Me: "Hi, can I help you?"
Lady: "I want a sandwich."
Me: "Sure, what would you like on it?"
Lady: "Mayonaise. LOTS. Tomatoes. 9 slices. Turkey. Sliced THIN. On sliced bread."
Me: "Alright, what kinda of bread would you like? I've got rye, white, or wheat."
Lady: "Whiteorwheat!"
Me: "Wha...wha? What kind miss? I've got-"
Lady: "Whiteorwheat!"
Me: ".....uh...ok." :squint:
So I gave her a slice of white, and a slice of wheat.
^ lol. Nice.
Can't get on youtube, but I'm imagining that episode of Family Guy where Peter recalls the time he tried crack or whatever...
Can't get on youtube, but I'm imagining that episode of Family Guy where Peter recalls the time he tried crack or whatever...
Well before I started the academy I was a 911 dispatcher for the perry county missouri sheriffs office and ater cape girardeau county missouri sheriffs office. When I first started at perry county about 2 months in I got a 911 about 11 or so one night.
The caller stated he was at the bank on main street in perryville so I'm thinking ok, well he goes on to say that his ATM card was stuck in the machine and it said it was out of order before he tried it but he thought it'd be cool since it may not have really been broken, then goes on to tell me how he got his other card stuck while trying to pry out the other ATM card.
i didnt laugh as much as i wanted to however i did question his logic which seemed to piss him off, then i transferred his call to PVPD and they I guess took care of him, he was in the city but since he used a cell I got the call, so I just transferred it. They probably could have given him a citation but I doubt they did.
The caller stated he was at the bank on main street in perryville so I'm thinking ok, well he goes on to say that his ATM card was stuck in the machine and it said it was out of order before he tried it but he thought it'd be cool since it may not have really been broken, then goes on to tell me how he got his other card stuck while trying to pry out the other ATM card.
i didnt laugh as much as i wanted to however i did question his logic which seemed to piss him off, then i transferred his call to PVPD and they I guess took care of him, he was in the city but since he used a cell I got the call, so I just transferred it. They probably could have given him a citation but I doubt they did.