another "ask the guy community" question about girls

S

SupraDerk

The Backseat Flyer
Sep 17, 2005
546
0
0
40
Tallahassee
It's long but good, I promise ;)


Ok, so I'll try to help a brotha out! Haha, well first there are some things that you need to realize. You probably HAVE been in relationships...you just haven't realized it.

<---- Happened to this guy here :) haha

Anytime you go out with a girl... it's a date. Yes ANYTIME, haha. As stupid as it sounds, it's the truth. So anytime you and a girl end up hanging out, you're on a date, if you realize that, and realize that the girl WANTS to spend time with you (until you either screw it up or she loses interest)... that being the reason she's there with you, and I guarantee your confidence will skyrocket.

Now with that said, most times relationships don't work like this. (I just realized this within the last year, I'm 22, haha...so it doesn't really get easy until you put yourself out there more). You don't say this after the first date:

Guy: "I like you."
Girl: "I like you too."
Guy: "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Girl: "OK!"

Most times, you can NEVER say how you feel about the girl, just keep going out together, and then all of the sudden SHE will ask what the status is between you two. Then the ball is in YOUR court and then you're free to be in a relationship, haha. Of course there are exceptions to these scenarios, but generally, this is how they go.

What really opened my eyes was that I used to sit and be upset in the fact that I was never in a relationship and that I never had a girlfrind...but then I talked to this girl (we used to hang out A lot doing stupid crap, haha) this past summer, and she said this...

"When I was your girlfriend..." ...and then I interrupted her and was like "WHOA?! Girlfriend?? When the hell did that happen??"... and she was like "Did you think I hung out with you all of the time for nothing?"

Haha, then I talked to some of the other girls I used to hang out with...and I found out that some of them too considered themselves to be my girlfriend at one point or another, haha.
------------------------------------------------------------------

So I guess the point is that this girl is not the only girl for you. Billions of girls in this world, and I know right now she seems like the only one that fills your heart with joy...but trust me. You'll find another that is 10 times better, haha. This girl you're after now seems like she's stringing you along. You made the one error guys usually make, and that's telling her how you feel. You put the ball in her court and you made it worse by saying that you'd wait.

She keeps you hanging by that thread of hope so that she KNOWS she has a backup guy, but she'll never move to that backup guy...it's just sort of a girl ego thing, haha...sucks I know, but we've ALL been in your situation.

So I suggest you move on and experience YOUR life...don't put it on hold for someone. I've pretty much told you the secret to dating, haha...I had to figure it out on my own for the most part and over the course of about a decade, haha. But good luck to you man. I know exactly how you're feeling, but I really suggest you move on or you'll be miserable for and "lost" in thought about this girl for awhile. :bigthumb:
 
S

SupraDerk

The Backseat Flyer
Sep 17, 2005
546
0
0
40
Tallahassee
Haha, cars and girls... the two loves that ALL...well I guess, MOST guys share! :)

I definitely know what you mean about giving advice but not being able to take it... but since my Dad's advice to me (especially in regards to woman, lol) has been pretty much spot on everytime, I can now take it in with confidence.


Of course though, first hand experience (ie. mistakes, lol) will ALWAYS hold more of a lesson than advice. :naughty:
 
Insidious Surmiser

Insidious Surmiser

Formerly 89jdm7m
May 12, 2006
2,172
0
0
Oceanfront
HellsLegion said:
^ agreed. I have never really been in a relationship(no laughing.) and well what you described never wored for me. I basically gave up on the ladies a while ago. I have acar. thats my main focus.
Click to expand...
i'm w/ ya on that one... i gave up a while ago as well, right now, i'm just waiting for something to happen... seeing as chasing after girls only yielded sluts :-/


Syris said:
For relationships always remember this "nice guys finish last", now yes their is some cases where the nice guy comes out on top but not very likely. I say this from experience
Click to expand...
agreed... 99.9% of the time this holds true


and to address the topic... IMO if she doesn't like you enough to be with YOU... i wouldn't bother... sure stay friends, but honestly, if she's not w/ you now, and you've both obviously known of your attraction for some time, then i'd say move on.... find a girl that like YOU... not anyone else, and likes all of you
 
PROJECT N00b

PROJECT N00b

XBL: Mkiii DriFt3r
May 22, 2005
1,660
0
0
36
honolulu, california
www.myspace.com
yeah. now that im taking in what you guys are saying, and thinking of the situation more...i should stop putting my hopes up too high and just let the feelings for this one die. i just started college, so i shouldnt even be worrying about a relationship.
 
6

686supra

SupraBoarder
Jul 22, 2006
52
0
0
34
Parksville, BC, Canada
MKIII N00b said:
ok so the girl that i used to like (and she felt the same way) is having doubts about her relationship, as if things are going down hill...and so im here talking to her, about the issue and being the nice person that i am helping out. one time we had a huge convo about why things between us went sour, and it was because at the time we were 'seeing' each other a guy she liked at the same time told her that he felt jealous everytime i hugged her, and he knew that there was something going on between us. anyways so after he told her how he felt she backed down and put herself in a love triangle, and as everyone knows...they just dont work. so now we are good friends, and there is still a part of both of us that says that we still like each other. right now shes in a relationship...like it says up there, and things arent going so great...which brings me to say this...when we had our big convo she asked me if i sitll liked her i said yes i do, and i told her that i would wait till shes single again. and so heres my question, the way things are going with her relationship now...it doesnt look so good, i hope that i get to be with her after shes done with her BF...but not right away, like ill be there to comfort her when she needs it like every guy should...and then when things start to get better, ill do what i have to do. so guys...tell me your thoughts.
Click to expand...


I sort of have/had the same problem, we went out for like 8 months? but she wasnt in a love triangle...? haha, so we broke up, i was angry at her, about 2 3 months later she tells me she wants to be with me again, but i say im not ready im still pissede off at you, and then when we start to like eachother again like a month before school ends, we start to talk alot and chill and stuff, but then during the summer for like 2 weeks i lose contact with her, and then like i went to disneyland with her, she was already seeing some other guy, didnt last long only a month...so she was dating some guy, and i was still feeling her, like unbelievebly, and now thats over and now we are hanging out again, weve fooled around and shit, i asked her out oin monday after we were foolin around a bit and she said wait, so im like wtf?
i dont really know what to think we hung out i 2 nights ago and yea id even know....
 
S

SupraDerk

The Backseat Flyer
Sep 17, 2005
546
0
0
40
Tallahassee
686supra said:
I sort of have/had the same problem, we went out for like 8 months? but she wasnt in a love triangle...? haha, so we broke up, i was angry at her, about 2 3 months later she tells me she wants to be with me again, but i say im not ready im still pissede off at you, and then when we start to like eachother again like a month before school ends, we start to talk alot and chill and stuff, but then during the summer for like 2 weeks i lose contact with her, and then like i went to disneyland with her, she was already seeing some other guy, didnt last long only a month...so she was dating some guy, and i was still feeling her, like unbelievebly, and now thats over and now we are hanging out again, weve fooled around and shit, i asked her out oin monday after we were foolin around a bit and she said wait, so im like wtf?
i dont really know what to think we hung out i 2 nights ago and yea id even know....
Click to expand...


move on :bigthumb:
 
C

chopstickz

New Member
Dec 3, 2005
227
0
0
SoCal
you can comfort her after she breaks up. then comes "nice guys finish last" then when your with her u can lower the "nice guys finish last" a little
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom