soooooo babies advice?

[tbcmorris]

I definetly had a rollercoaster long night last night. Ill start at the beginning. My best friend since forever married my sister years ago in a shotgun army wedding for deployment. They've had rough times since. Fast forward 3 years. They seperate for a year. About 5 monthes ago they move back in together to give it another go. Fast forward to last night. My friend calls me and goes dude your sister just had a kid and its not mine. I couldn't believe my ears. I'm half in the bag at my friends house so my girlfriend drives me to the hospital. I meet my brother in law there. Looking horrible. We talk. I go in. And holy shit my sister who showed no signs of being pregnant is holding an awesome 6lb baby. And I hate kids. So I ask her some questions like how the f*** and whose is it. It turns out to be a a guy that commited suicde about 4 monthes ago. I don't know what happens from here. The kid is going to be named tyler james. James diied in a motorcycle accident and tyler was riding with him and commited suicide a year later because he always blamed himself for the accident. Any advice? What happens next? I probably need to edit this but I just got home. I needed to vent I guess. And I know some people on here are parents. I want to help but idk.

 

[DreamerTheresa]

Help?

Why?

She's family and all, but it's not your problem.


I told my 19 year old pregnant sister the same.
"I am NOT an ATM, I am NOT a babysitter, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, you're my sister, so I'll be here for you."

 

[tbcmorris]

Help?

Why?

She's family and all, but it's not your problem.


I told my 19 year old pregnant sister the same.
"I am NOT an ATM, I am NOT a babysitter, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, you're my sister, so I'll be here for you."

i was hopoing youd find this thread. thanks for the slap back into reality. i have made a nice life for myself the last thing i need to do is ruin it helping her.

 

[shaeff]

Not your problem. I agree with Theresa.

 

[savannahashlee]

Help?

Why?

She's family and all, but it's not your problem.


I told my 19 year old pregnant sister the same.
"I am NOT an ATM, I am NOT a babysitter, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, you're my sister, so I'll be here for you."

agreed... coming from a single parent myself.. I absolutely value my brother and my dad for all their help... even if its only emotional support.. You need to be there for your sister.. Maybe her husband and her can work something out... It wasnt like they were together and she cheated on them, they were separated... Tell her congrats, and I cant wait to see pictures..


BTW: Dont be shocked about her not knowing.. Look at myself and Miss MKIII... I had 2 doctors, 4 pregnancy tests, and 1 blood test tell me I wasnt pregnant.. I went overseas to see my family, was taken in for an ultrasound because i had really bad stomach pains, and I found out I was pregnant

 

[foreverpsycotic]

WTF dude, I'll give you a call. This is one messed up situation.

 

[Supracentral]

You can be there, you can help, you can give good advice.

But you shouldn't let it hurt or damage the life you've worked for.

These are choices she made, she's going to have to accept the consequences of them. You can help her get through them, but not to your detriment.

P.S. - What the hell is your sister trying to prove naming the kid that? It's like insult on top of injury for her husband. If she wants to guarantee he'll leave, that's a good start.

P.P.S. - Both your sister and best friend had better get tested for every sexually transmitted disease known to man. She obviously had unprotected sex with someone of "questionable" mental stability and someone other than her spouse. Dumb, dumb, stupid dumb.

 

[Doward]

Fuck it, Mike already hit what I was going to add - Get tested, now.

 

[suprarx7nut]

Stupid people tend to lead bad lives...

Best of luck to her, and don't get tangled in someone else's mess.

 

[GrimJack]

Good advice here. Figure out what you're willing to do to help, set boundaries for yourself, and stop every Sunday evening to think about whether you're still happy with the boundaries you've set and whether you're overstepping them.

PS: It does get better. Among other things, Uncles are allowed to take kids to the county Fair, stuff them full of sugar, run them on the roller coaster until they are green all over, then drop them off at home with a wave and a smile.

 

[IJ.]

Ring Oprah?


seriously NOT your problem.

 

[mkiiSupraMan18]

5 month pregnancy... Not his problem either, especially if the mother was actually holding the baby. 6lbs is a little big for a ~20 week baby.


being an uncle is awesome. I've taught my nephew all the stuff he needs to know but my sister wouldn't teach him. He tries to be a ladies man like his uncle, but he = teh fail. We take him paintballing w/ us and use him for target practice... such a trooper.

 

[drunk_medic]

Do you know what separated means?
It means still married.
It means apart, but working on your marriage.
If they weren't interested in getting back together, they should have just divorced.
Separation is no excuse for infidelity.
Fucking other people isn't working on your marriage.

It seems to me she attached emotionally to someone and/or gave some emo schmoe a pity fuck, then he eventually killed himself. Fast forward to more recent times and she remembers that she's already legally bound to someone else. Wow.. she has someone who can support her! An already baked daddy. The Army may not be the best living for a family, but it is a steady check and your medical is covered, which is great for kids.
I would run for the hills.

 

[tbcmorris]

Savanna: ill try and post some pics tomarrow.

Supracentral: they've both scheduled tests. Good call.

Grim: I have set my boundries. The only finicial help I am giving is excusing a debt for a while. Other than that emtional and that's about it. I am defintly not babysiting. Kids scare me.

IJ: I hate oprah. But your right she may be my sister but this is not my problem.

MkIIsupraman18: it was a full term pregnacy. No prenatnal care or anything. Somehow she hid it from all of us.It was easy to hide from me is see her once every couple monthes due to my schedule.I am gonna teach this kid to be so awesome then give him back with a huge grim.

Drunk_medic: agreed seprated does not mean your legs. Ummm he is no longer on active duty but does have a good paying job and takes care of her more than he should. So the motives could be the same.

Everyone: I'm not sure of anymore details but ill post up when I know something. I'm still pissed about all this, but I didnt do it. I voiced my opinon on what I think she should do. Only using state help until she is capable of supporting herself. And not to abuse it. And to raise the baby herself.

 

[GrimJack]

First word you can teach your new nephew: TITS.

 

[savannahashlee]

sadly, my son already says "Hooters" and "Boobies"... oh and "Big 'ums"... I think I'm raising Al Bundy

 

[GrimJack]

Mine too, but that's not my fault. Fucking uncles!

 

[savannahashlee]

I know! Fucking Uncles! No, actually.. I blame his father on that one..

 

[LilMissMkIII]

If my daughter lets any of those words past her lips before she is a teenager, I will be washing her mouth out with soap.

Children with foul mouths disgust me.

 

[tbcmorris]

Sorry lilmissmkIII I'm gonna be that uncle!