WARNING!! ESSAY FOLLOWS:
I might be the minority, but it's not always about sex. I spent time with different girls just cause they were weird, interesting or a little bit of both and I really enjoy hanging out with them. You might think that's dumb or I'm lying, but I swear I'm not, and there are better things in life. If you really think sex is the know-all end-all, then your reason for being has already been answered. I concede, however, that most if not all men will look at a beautiful woman. I did it and still do. But its a never more than a passing thought now. Too often when I got to know a few of them, they were *ahem* high maintenance. Oh well. When I really felt I was in love with someone, I went after her.. hence I've only had one girlfriend. Yes there definitely is a double standard among men when talking to other men, but there is also the other side of the sword when women talk to women about men. My sister thinks that all men are dogs. It's just how we percieve it through the eyes of the society we grew up in.
Speaking of societal views, on a side note: For years my mom would stay silent under the impression that men knew wtf they were talking about, namely my dad. After 20 some odd years she finally stopped covering for my dad's blunders and challenged him to take responsibility for his actions. After a lot of fighting, bitterness, being thrown out of my own house, temporarily disowned, we're still a somewhat broken family but much better than we once were. Now my mom actually enjoys spending time with my dad. I enjoy talking to him even though his thinking is rather archaic. He still thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen, and that's a perception that will never change. He still hasn't forgiven my sister for having pre-marital sex and living with my (not official yet) brother in law. My dad wanted her to marry a Korean man who had a strong foundation in Christianity. She ended up with a Tall white man who used to believe, but after a falling out with his church, doesn't. When my dad is home, my mom tries to be a "good wife", he still complains, and arguments still happen, but it's no longer the violent arguments I was so used to when I was younger. I think my parents really matured when they realized their children were more mature than they were. My dad thinks pragmatism is a problem. But I disagree, and he's okay with that. He suggests things now instead of demanding I obey.
I learned a lot from my dad and mom about the workings of a relationship. My dad was marriage counselor for about 10 years about 15 years back now, who never took his own advice until recently. I think that today there isn't just a double standard, but a nearly infinite amount of standards depending on who you are and what your underlying beliefs are. We can all make assumations and predictions about another person but for what? So what if we're right? Is there some prize we win if we determine a woman is a slut or a saint and vice versa? Kroze, look deep into your inner thoughts and ask yourself first what you are looking for. Are you looking for nothing but sex? Does that make you more of a slut (or dog) than her? If you're just having fun, spend time with a girl, bang her (use protection!) then don't ask yourself if she's a slut, as it probably won't matter once you get bored. Enjoy the time with her wisely. If you start developing deep feelings for her, then pertinent questions arise. I think that that might be the case here. Does she sleep around? Does she always put out? Who knows, she just might like you, or she just might be trying to use you. If you really distrust her, find out for yourself. All you need is one lie to determine fidelity. And I don't mean stupid lies like lying about who ate the last piece of cake. If she cheats on you, don't go nuts, cut your losses and run. Saying she'll never do it again almost never works if you both remain the same. BOTH of you have to change for the better. If she's using you, then you'll know by how much money goes into her account. Does she ask you all the time for $$? Do you pay for it all or does she? Finding the right person for you is all about changing your wants and needs. Once you find that one person who you know you can spend the rest of your life with, the change is nearly automatic. However, if you're doing all the changing, then you have a serious problem. Always be careful Kroze, of the wicked tongue. One lie can ruin a relationship forever. And for God Sakes, TALK to her, don't yell at her and don't let her bitch at you. Sometimes all you have to do is ask, some women are brutally honest. There is alot of work into finding the right woman for you now more than ever. I can go on, but I'll stop here. Drunk_Medic is right, these ARE crazy times. This is all purely opinion, and I probably take this a little too seriously, but when it comes to meaningful relationships, I can't take it any other way.
*Cliff Notes will be available courtesy of Lanky189 soon* :biglaugh:
(yes I still remember your first request for cliff notes Lanky...)
