How screwed up is your family?

[Tanya]

I just got to thinking about how odd my family is. With so many marriages, divorces, age differences, etc. My family is a HUGE MESS, so much so I think it's kinda funny.

Here:

I am 27
My mom is 47

My dad is ?? an old bastard I would guess. Mom never married him and I dont know him at all. She's been married 3 times.

My oldest sister on my dad's side was 2 years older than my mom (she passed away in 2004). I don't even know how many bros/sisters I have on dad's side, he was a manwhore, obviously. I am supposedly the youngest of his kids I guess.

My sister on my mom's side is 10.
My brother on my mom's side is 9.
My son is 8.
My daughter is 6.

LMAO

Im wondering if anyone elses family is as screwed up as mine is :aigo:

Someone out there make me feel better :biglaugh:

 

[DreamerTheresa]

My mom was arrested for her second DUI a month ago.....

 

[staticpage]

My family is almost perfect in regard to marriages, and divorces. I’m the first one anyone can remember going way back that has had a divorce. Not only is it lonely but some in the family are avoiding me because they don’t know what to say or how to act around me. My brother in law was the marrying pastor, it was his first ceremony so now it’s very awkward when talking to him.

Other than that I have a uncle that is a crack addict

an uncle that married his step sister, two years ago got a third dui and was fired from the family company by his brother. This made him so bitter he did not show up for his moms funeral or my wedding.

A grandpa that acts like he’s a teenager (and just bought a zr1) now that grandma died of cancer.

While on her death bed grandma told horrible lies about people trying to control any one she could.

my third uncle is crazy rich with the family company. He does not share.

My other grandma was an illegal Mexican

There’s a little craziness in there. :biglaugh:

Families are so big in some cases, that you’re bound to look at every one and think it’s just madness. even with all the madness we would not trade them for the world.

 

[Poodles]

As Jeff Foxworthy said, if you think your family is screwed up...go to a state fair

 

[emiliorescigno]

My father was an old Child who was born in Milan, Italy. He then moved with his parents to live in Oakland, CA, then Canberra, AU, then Minneapolis Minnesota. In Minnesota he met my mother, who has lived in the Midwest all her life, one of three children. The two in college lived in China for a couple years (1980-82), then had my brother and I.

No divorces, no nothing. I guess I'm pretty lucky, and crazy boring.

 

[DsBetterHalf]

Mine's............interesting.

I'm 24.
Mom is 44 (we are exactly 20 years and 15 days apart).
Dad is 52.

Mom's oldest brother, Mark, got married and divorced within 6 months. Found out the woman was sleeping around on him the entire time. HER mother knew, and approved the marriage so her daughter could get away with it. Said uncle still lives with my grandmother, and doesn't work. He's a mooch.

Second brother, David, is a HUGE pot-head. There are so many crazy stories I could tell about him. He wrote me a letter when I was 11, telling me to never do drugs, that he was so addicted he couldn't even take a shit without taking a joint with him into the bathroom. This is the same man that when I went with him to spend the night at the new house (he had just gotten married a few months before, and the new wife wanted to try to get to know me some), he had me packing his bowl for him the entire way - during a 3 hour trip. That same night, after dinner, he reaches under the dinner table and pulls out a bong, then lights it up ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. Oh, and let's not forget him walking around at my wedding asking if anybody had some to spare. He's clean now, hasn't touched any in over a year, but it was interesting growing up with him around.

My father's side - is odd. The entire family on that side is FAT. Grossly so. Well, except my aunt. She is 53 or 54, and is on some strange tea diet that caused her to lose over 100 pounds. She now looks like a hag built of skin and bones. She is like 5'6 or so, and weighs about 115, I think. I know she weighs less than I do. It's really disgusting. The rest of the family has even told her she looks sick and needs to gain weight, but she won't. Her daughter, my cousin, is about 20 or 21, is about 5'3" and weighs close to, if not more than, 300 pounds. And thinks she is pretty. That side of the family makes me ill - I don't even visit them. I have no mental filters anymore between my brain and my mouth, and so I'll just be nice and not visit, where I would say some rather nasty things to them.

Other than that - my mom and dad have been married for 26 years this year, and Doward and I are almost at 5.

 

[gtsfirefighter]

My mother is dead. I wished she was here to be screwed up.

 

[Tanya]

My mother is dead. I wished she was here to be screwed up.

Sorry for your loss

There was a point in my life I did wish my mother dead. She's done some fucked up shit to me, and in front of me, throughout my life. I won't start recalling all of them, only the more recent.

In 1999, I turned 18, and immediately started getting credit card applications. I wanted to apply to Capital One or some shit like that, but never bothered. I moved up to massachusetts for several months. My mom kept getting my mail. Apparently she decided to fill out a CC application for me. And charge $776 on it, and not pay it. And then lied about it. She made a HUGE ordeal out of it too, cried and made it seem like I was so horrible for accusing her. I didnt speak to her for almost a year.

In 2005, my marriage started falling apart. My husband cheated on me, scammed me out of my house, etc etc. I was devastated. My mom let me stay with her for a bit. One day I was out and she called me on my Boost Mobile cell phone.... to bitch about a $7 phone bill she got bc of my best friend. Every minute she's whining to me, she's costing me 25 cents. I finally snaped and blew up at her telling her that she was costing me 25 cents a minute to bitch about a lousy $7 fucking phone bill. I hung up on her. I come home to find a huge letter about me being "unappreciative" and all my shit packed, outside on the porch. Including my COMPUTER. which could have been easily stolen in the ghetto apartment community she lived in. Would have cost me a $300 computer over her fucking pride and phone bill. Kicked me out over it too.

Again, I didnt talk to her for a VERY long time. Until 2007. When I found out she had cervical cancer. At first, I hoped it would kill her. And then shit finaly dawned on me, life is too short to hold grudges for so long, and for why? I am still bitter about the shit she pulled, but, she's helping me out now. Her cancer ordeal seems to have changed her a lot, or I wouldnt be here living with her right now. Life.. is odd.

 

[BorHor]

The only thing I can think of messed up on mine is that my uncle is 2 year younger then one of the cousins on the same side of the family. But then again my grandma did have 10 kids haha. Freaking old days.

 

[MK3Brent]

Holy crap, you're 27?

 

[Clint]

I wont even get into how screwed up my family is lol

 

[GrimJack]

Cripes, I could write a book here. I live in a freaking soap opera. I'll put in a short excerpt:

My mom's second husband, a WWII vet who went merc when his unit was disbanded after the war, booted me out of the house at 18 - sat me down in the living room the second week of Jan and told me that I had until the end of the month to pack my shit and GTFO. I was gone in 3 days. Didn't tell them where, no forwarding address, no phone number. Didn't speak to my mother for 5 years - she didn't even find out I'd gotten married until 2 years after the fact.

Things are relatively normal by now - he's been dead for near 15 years now, which helps. I'm not normally a vengeful man, AND I have a tremendous respect for those who serve in the military... but I've never shed a tear for that man, and it was extremely difficult to resist the urge to throw a party when he shuffled off this mortal coil.

Everyone else in my family is just as nuts, but in different ways. Well, except for one Uncle, I guess, who is so normal he sticks out like a sore thumb.

 

[Tanya]

Holy crap, you're 27?

*sigh*

yeah.

 

[SupaMan]

Eh my familys not too bad but i rather not talk about it.

 

[SupraMario]

I win and don't even have to talk about my 10 uncles and aunts, 68 first cousins, 32 second cousins and 2 third cousins...

 

[Jayhall]

this subject came up on a local forum, someone said "Man, everyones family is fucked up" and the next reply (not me) was "Maybe everyones but Jayhall's" My family is oddly normal. Id say the worst thing would be my grandpa drinking to much at christmas and calling me Derek, and to be honast, thats kinda funny

 

[GrimJack]

*sigh*

yeah.

27? That's pretty much perfect. Girls are smoking hot at 27, and they've usually grown out of the phase where they are attracted to dumbass men that treat 'em like shit.

Hell, lots of girls don't really start to attract attention until they are past the early twenties - my wife was average until 25, then everything just seemed to click - the right hair, fashions, colors, it all came together with a bang, and suddenly every guy within sight was dragging his tongue on the ground whenever he figured we weren't looking!

 

[x10secondzx2]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

 

[Tanya]

27? That's pretty much perfect. Girls are smoking hot at 27, and they've usually grown out of the phase where they are attracted to dumbass men that treat 'em like shit.

Pfft. I've had 3 kids, I am not what a typical 27 year old should look like, physically in shape, etc. And I'm still attracted to bullheaded men who tend to argue with me constantly about shit and infuriate me, I dont know wtf is up with that :1zhelp:

Generally, I dont feel 27. And most people say I don't look it either. And I certainly dont feel like I am where I should be at this point in my life

 

[willtotheumm]

I'm 23.
My mom died when I was 18.
Recently found out my real dad is 50.

Mom and dad divorced when I was 2.
Mom remarried when I was 7.
Now I have 2 step siblings. 1 sister and 1 brother.
After mom and step dad marrage, I have younger half brother.

Real dad got remarried.
Now I have another older step-sister.
Step sister had son. I'm now uncle.
Never met either.
Dad and stepmom divorce.

Step-dad remarried to satan herself.
Family hates new wife.
Family in big ol' split.

Fun stuff. HAHA