D34DC311 said:
That sounds like a challenge!!! Of course you'll probably want your first time to be somewhere where it'll be easy to get your angles right. Good luck man, I know it'll happen for you someday!!
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That sounds like a challenge!!! Of course you'll probably want your first time to be somewhere where it'll be easy to get your angles right. Good luck man, I know it'll happen for you someday!!
psifactor said:
I'm going to have to disagree...
When I met my guy I was obsessed with swimming. I swam everyday whenever I could make it to the pool and I still had problems with how much time he spent on his car and I was just as passionate about swimming as he was about his car. Just because you have something you're passionate about doesn't mean you enjoy having your SO spend all of their time on their hobby (ie: their car).
Yes, I know that a car is just an object, but it does put strain on a relationship when one of the people in the relationship would rather work on their car then spend time with you.
Little psych major insight here..........if he gets defensive when you bring it up, then he's probably upset because he feels like you're mentioning it every 5 minutes, he knows it's true and doesn't want to be reminded he's wrong - or both.
don't directly confront him about it - especially if you know he's in a bad mood about something else. If he's already on the defensive about something then it's only going to be an uphill battle for you.
he won't give up the car...regardless of whether he's being selfish or not...there will have to be compromise on either side for your relationship to work. either you're going to have to deal with it, or you're going to somehow make him more aware of his trespasses without offending him.
then again - if it's as bad as you make it seem, then maybe you should cut your losses. even after 3 years people can still be wrong for each other.
don't directly confront him about it - especially if you know he's in a bad mood about something else. If he's already on the defensive about something then it's only going to be an uphill battle for you.
he won't give up the car...regardless of whether he's being selfish or not...there will have to be compromise on either side for your relationship to work. either you're going to have to deal with it, or you're going to somehow make him more aware of his trespasses without offending him.
then again - if it's as bad as you make it seem, then maybe you should cut your losses. even after 3 years people can still be wrong for each other.
hmm.... I've had this conversation with my GF many times.......
We've been together 6 years (Oct 15) and when we met she knew absolutely NOTHING about cars..... She still has a lot to learn about just the basics, but we made a "deal", she'll learn a little about cars (mainly just humor me in the garage.....) and I'll learn how to dance..... so... very soon I'm gonna find some dancing lessons somewhere, or she's gonna teach me, whatever. I think that something like this works really well in relationships.... She helped me swap out a trans once..... Something about grease/oil on a woman drives men crazy, I think maybe because it "prooves" their love.
But like it's been stated before, there are a LOT worse things that he could be spending time on, but there are still a lot better things that he could be spending the money on......
If he's like me, buying cars fixing them up and reselling them, he might be saving up for a really "big" purchase..... Just something to consider also. Although it sounds like this is only about A (one) Supra...... Luckily, I don't have to worry so much about spending too much time in the garage, my GF is out of town (about 2 hrs away) at college, so I don't have to see her everyday.
My GF and I also have this thing where I clean her car out for her, wash/wax it, and do whatever else is needed to it every once in a while. make him pay up.... :biglaugh:
We've been together 6 years (Oct 15) and when we met she knew absolutely NOTHING about cars..... She still has a lot to learn about just the basics, but we made a "deal", she'll learn a little about cars (mainly just humor me in the garage.....) and I'll learn how to dance..... so... very soon I'm gonna find some dancing lessons somewhere, or she's gonna teach me, whatever. I think that something like this works really well in relationships.... She helped me swap out a trans once..... Something about grease/oil on a woman drives men crazy, I think maybe because it "prooves" their love.
But like it's been stated before, there are a LOT worse things that he could be spending time on, but there are still a lot better things that he could be spending the money on......
If he's like me, buying cars fixing them up and reselling them, he might be saving up for a really "big" purchase..... Just something to consider also. Although it sounds like this is only about A (one) Supra...... Luckily, I don't have to worry so much about spending too much time in the garage, my GF is out of town (about 2 hrs away) at college, so I don't have to see her everyday.
My GF and I also have this thing where I clean her car out for her, wash/wax it, and do whatever else is needed to it every once in a while. make him pay up.... :biglaugh:
meggs521 said:
i guess owning a supra and being into the hobby is more of a way of life. there isn't much in my life that i cannot apply to my car. unfortunately i do not think i could/would even date someone that couldn't share the same interest as me.
crazy, i'm sure your guy feels the same way. I bet there are some things you can help him with on the car you may be better at. When i was in high school one of my good friends was dating a guy building a chevelle. She wasn't really into it but went along with it. Then she seen how poorly he caulked in the rear fuel cell and scraped it all up and re-did it perfectly. This like that you may enjoy and he would appreciate.
kwnate said:
Ok im confused. did you get the part were i said i tried?
and try it with a hard to and she being like 5' 11" and me being 6' 4". :biglaugh:
and a challenge it is, I challenge u, if you accomplish such a task, I salute you!
back on topic
tell us how this works out.
if you two love each other,
then it doesnt matter, there shoudlnt be a jealousy towards the car. its metal and ruber that can be replaced. relationships cant.
then it doesnt matter, there shoudlnt be a jealousy towards the car. its metal and ruber that can be replaced. relationships cant.
psifactor said:
I don't think owning a supra is a way of life. Nore would I be so shallow as to not date someone just because they didn't share one of my interests. I would put that on the same level as not liking someone because they don't like circus peanuts as much as me...
Well anyways.
not to go OT in OT, but are circus peanuts those orange styrofoam tasting things that have a shelf life of 5 years...?
I thought they were just regular peanuts you got a a circus...
But now that I think about it, I have no idea.
Oh ya... and to whoever tried to say swimming isn't a way of life. OMG what the heck are you on because it totally is!!!
But now that I think about it, I have no idea.
Oh ya... and to whoever tried to say swimming isn't a way of life. OMG what the heck are you on because it totally is!!!
outofstep said:
maybe it is shallow.......but there are things in my life that are not worth giving up for someone else. Like...my crazy dog and my car. If I’m going to be with someone they have to be able to enjoy those things as well or they will not be compatible.
if one of those interest are a huge part of your life if your mate wasn't able to share that same interest you probably would not date that person. Circus peanuts are a horrible analogy. It’s like if you had a kid and someone despised kids would you still date them?
Yeah, that shit is crazy. I would swim a few times a week at a large pool and EVERY time i was there the swim teams would be there doing laps around me.meggs521 said:
god i love those things, those and peeps you know the little marshmellow rabit dudes. mmm, good.
psifactor said:
I don't get the idea that she despises cars or her bf's interest in cars. She just wants her bf to take it down a notch and spend some time with her. Maybe I don't fully understand the situation, but that's what I've gotten from what's been said so far.
Yes, there does need to be some compromise, but that doesn't mean she has to change completely and make cars her number one interest. If she's willing to work on his car then he should also be willing to take part in her hobbies/ interests.
outofstep said:
How come I've never had these... oh wait... ya, that's right... I've never been to a circus. I guess my parents didn't love me...
So, you should take me to one.
psifactor said:
That's not what I meant. I know some people do consider their cars to be their kids. And there's nothing wrong with that. I just meant that I don't think the person (Crazy...) despises cars... so it wouldn't really be a good analogy for her.
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