Clip said:
Excuse me while I whip this out.
-Don't move or else I'll shoot him
-Better do it. He's crazy
Funny Quotes!
- Thread starter jazzsaxman1988
- Start date
Excuse me while I whip this out.
-Don't move or else I'll shoot him
-Better do it. He's crazy
from the last Dr. Who:
"and with that sentence, you have lost the right to talk to me, shut up."
From blazing saddles the outtakes:
"is it twu what they say about your people being gifted?, Oh its twu, oh
its twu!"
"Lady, you're sucking on my arm."
"and with that sentence, you have lost the right to talk to me, shut up."
From blazing saddles the outtakes:
"is it twu what they say about your people being gifted?, Oh its twu, oh
its twu!"
"Lady, you're sucking on my arm."
halfbaked
after they smoke up and get munchies the guy who works in the childcare
Hey girl you hungry?
Fat bitch says FUCK YOU NIGGA!!!
I was talking to the horse
after they smoke up and get munchies the guy who works in the childcare
Hey girl you hungry?
Fat bitch says FUCK YOU NIGGA!!!
I was talking to the horse
Leon - The Professional
*After shooting a jogger with paintballs*
Mathilda: Can we try with real bullets now?
Mathilda: Leon, I think I'm kina falling in love with you.
[Leon chokes on his milk]
Mathilda: It's the first time for me, you know?
Léon: [wiping himself off] How do you know it's love if you've never been in love before?
Mathilda: 'Cause I feel it.
Léon: Where?
Mathilda: [stoking her stomach] In my stomach. It's all warm. I always had a knot there and now... it's gone.
Léon: Mathilda, I'm glad you don't have a stomach ache any more. I don't think it means anything.
*Stansfield shooting a corpse like 10times*
Malky: Hey Stan, Stan! What are doing? He's dead!
Stansfield: But he ruined my suit.
Boondock Saints
Connor: [picking out weapons and gear] Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.
Murphy: Absolutely. What are you, insane?
Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
Murphy: What?
Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.
Murphy: You've lost it, haven't ya?
Connor: No, I'm serious.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one thing you'd need a rope for.
Connor: You don't fuckin' know what you're gonna need it for. They just always need it.
Murphy: What's this 'they' shit? This isn't a movie.
Connor: Oh, right.
[picks up large knife out of Murphy's bag]
Connor: Is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right. Get your stupid fuckin' rope.
Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. There's a rope right there.
Yakavetta: I'm having a shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy.
Yakavetta: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right, he says to the nigger "What do you want?" and the nigger says, "I want all my nigger brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So... I'm not funny today, really, this joke sucks, I know...
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: Uh, so he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and niggers are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."
Connor: Jesus. He brought a six-shooter.
Murphy: There's nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the fuck were you going to do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?
*After shooting a jogger with paintballs*
Mathilda: Can we try with real bullets now?
Mathilda: Leon, I think I'm kina falling in love with you.
[Leon chokes on his milk]
Mathilda: It's the first time for me, you know?
Léon: [wiping himself off] How do you know it's love if you've never been in love before?
Mathilda: 'Cause I feel it.
Léon: Where?
Mathilda: [stoking her stomach] In my stomach. It's all warm. I always had a knot there and now... it's gone.
Léon: Mathilda, I'm glad you don't have a stomach ache any more. I don't think it means anything.
*Stansfield shooting a corpse like 10times*
Malky: Hey Stan, Stan! What are doing? He's dead!
Stansfield: But he ruined my suit.
Boondock Saints
Connor: [picking out weapons and gear] Do ya know what we need, man? Some rope.
Murphy: Absolutely. What are you, insane?
Connor: No I ain't. Charlie Bronson's always got rope.
Murphy: What?
Connor: Yeah. He's got a lot of rope strapped around him in the movies, and they always end up using it.
Murphy: You've lost it, haven't ya?
Connor: No, I'm serious.
Murphy: That's stupid. Name one thing you'd need a rope for.
Connor: You don't fuckin' know what you're gonna need it for. They just always need it.
Murphy: What's this 'they' shit? This isn't a movie.
Connor: Oh, right.
[picks up large knife out of Murphy's bag]
Connor: Is that right, Rambo?
Murphy: All right. Get your stupid fuckin' rope.
Connor: I'll get my stupid rope. I'll get it. There's a rope right there.
Yakavetta: I'm having a shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Uh, OK. There's these three guys walking on the beach, a spic, a white guy, and a black guy.
Yakavetta: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right. So they find this pot, rub it, and a genie comes out. The genie says, "You can wish for whatever you want." So he asks the Mexican what he wants, and he says "I want all my people in America to be happy and free, and in Mexico." So the genie goes poof. It's done. Then he says to the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, right, he says to the nigger "What do you want?" and the nigger says, "I want all my nigger brothers to be back in Africa, and happy and free and everything." So the genie goes poof. And they're all back in Africa. So... I'm not funny today, really, this joke sucks, I know...
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: Uh, so he says to the white guy, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy says, "Wait, you mean to tell me that all the spics and niggers are out of America?" The genie goes yeah, and the white guy says, uh, "I'll have a Coke, then."
Connor: Jesus. He brought a six-shooter.
Murphy: There's nine bodies, genius.
Connor: What the fuck were you going to do, laugh the last three to death, Funny-Man?