F#$% my life

[MkIII_Jeff]

http://www.fmylife.com/



:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

 

[shaeff]

LOL, some of those are hilarious!

 

[Clueless]

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

I LOL'ed

 

[Fuzz420]

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

:rofl:

 

[MkIII_Jeff]

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

 

[Clueless]

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

Kids....they are assholes

 

[TopSecret]

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriends recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and it's back two legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

 

[Stretch]

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

 

[drunk_medic]

I really like this website.

How about this one:
"I recently cut my hair and shaved my beard growth of over 2 years for a job interview that I was well qualified for. A week later I received a call back, and not the one I wanted. FML."

 

[Quin]

Just read all 69 pages. Full of lulz

 

[Sil]

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

Almost happened to me today, except it was the holocaust...

 

[MkIII_Jeff]

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

 

[MK3Brent]

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

 

[FIL]

I really like this website.

How about this one:
"I recently cut my hair and shaved my beard growth of over 2 years for a job interview that I was well qualified for. A week later I received a call back, and not the one I wanted. FML."

thats why i didn't shave off my 2 year beard when i went for my last interview... i wasn't that desperate yet... i got the job though, and almost a year later, i'm still here

 

[MK3Brent]

Pics of said beard?

 

[drunk_medic]

 

[FIL]

This is from June last year....

 

[aye mate]

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and proceed to get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a little person. FML

 

[hvyman]

"Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML"

 

[IwantMKIII]

True story, happened 10 min ago:

My girlfriend just asked for a complete list of names with girls i've slept with. FML