Computer Tech Support TRUE STORY..

JMDigital

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Jun 2, 2006
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This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time.
I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Microsoft Word Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired, however he is currently suing the organization for "Termination without Cause."

This is the actual dialogue of a former Microsoft Word Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations) starts here:

Employee--"Rich Hall, Computer Assistance; may I help you?"

Customer--"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Microsoft Word."

Employee--"What sort of trouble?"

Customer--"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden, the words went away."

Employee--"Went away?"

Customer--"They disappeared."

Employee--"Hmmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer--"Nothing."

Employee--"Nothing?"

Customer--"It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Employee--"Are you still in Microsoft Word, or did you get out?"

Customer--"How do I tell?"

Employee--"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"

Customer--"What is a sea prompt?"

Employee--"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Customer--"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Employee--"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer--"What's a monitor?"

Employee--"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer--"I don't know"

Employee--"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer--"Yes, I think so."

Employee--"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer--"Yes, it is."

Employee--"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer--"No."

Employee--"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer--"Okay, here it is."

Employee--"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer--"I can't reach."

Employee--"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer--"No."

Employee--"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer--"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."

Employee--"Dark?"

Customer--"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Employee--"Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer--"I can't."

Employee--"No? Why not?"

Customer--"Because there's a power failure."

Employee--"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and the packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer--"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Employee--"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from".

Customer--"Really? Is it that bad?"

Employee--"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer--"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Employee--"Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer...
 

JMDigital

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Jun 2, 2006
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damn,, never happened! Oh well its funny. Friend emailed it to me cause I used to complain about stupid tech questions.. I can see it happening tho.

I have some good ones that happened to me that you would not believe.
 

JMDigital

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Supracentral said:
I've been in I.T. since 1992. Trust me, I'd believe it...

This is from about 1991 or 1992 -

Ok. I had a older woman come in to bring us her computer we just had built, it was about a month old and the first computer she owned. It did not work. After asking her about 50 questions to figure out what she may have done to break it. (it did not turn on at all when we got it) She finally said

"It worked until I washed it" 1 more question "How did you wash it"

Answer : I put in in the DISH WASHER.

100% TRUE! I could not believe it and I almost lost it right in front of her. I went to the back of the store and told the owner we laughed together and replaced the computer.

We felt bad for her but I did have a 45min talk about what not to do to the computer...
 

Murd

New Member
Dec 19, 2006
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Vancouver, WA.
He could have, but then word of mouth is about 70% of return business or 70% loss of business depending on the words used.
 

JMDigital

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Jun 2, 2006
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fandffan said:
Even if it tho it wasnt true it gave me a good laugh. Same thing with the crazy old woman.

The crazy old woman was 100% true. haha. Here is another one.

We had a customer that we called "The Stinky Guy" He seriously smelled bad every time he came to the store. He had knats flying arround his head.

He gave us his PC to do a little upgrade, when I took the cover off 3 roaches ran out of the computer. I started banging on the desk to kill them , the other guys in the shop ran over (they thought I had lost it and was banging on a computer or something) We all laughed when one guy said

"The damn roaches were trying to escape the shit hole he lives in!"

also 100% true. It took about an hour to update the hardware and software and the guy waited in the store, we had some cloth chairs up there. When he left I saw one of the owners pushing the chair outside. He tossed it in the dumpster because it smelled so bad. :biglaugh: Sometimes I miss that place! it was a blast to work there!
 

GrimJack

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Dec 31, 1969
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I'm like Mike, I've been in the industry for a long time. I've spoken directly with people who:

- put the mouse on the floor, so they could control it like their sewing machine
- plugged the computer into a power bar, then the power bar into ITSELF
- one lady was complaining that whenever she types, the computer would beep... turns out she left her glasses at home, she would type a bit, lean forward to read the screen to verify her accuracy, her tits would press down the keys on the keyboard, and a few seconds later the computer started to beep in annoyance
- I've had many customers use the CD Rom as a drink tray. I've had it break a couple of times. I've had one guy whose kid put Coke on the drink tray, then the computer retracted it and gave his computer a Coke bath. It didn't work so well after that
- Way back in the day of 5.25" floppies, I had a guy bring back his computer because it wouldn't install Word Perfect. It refused to read any floppy past the first one, and after the 5th one he couldn't get any more in the drive. Yup, you guessed it, he wasn't taking them OUT before putting in a new one

NEVER underestimate the power of stupidity.
 

suprarx7nut

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Nov 10, 2006
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GrimJack said:
I'm like Mike, I've been in the industry for a long time. I've spoken directly with people who:

- put the mouse on the floor, so they could control it like their sewing machine
- plugged the computer into a power bar, then the power bar into ITSELF
- one lady was complaining that whenever she types, the computer would beep... turns out she left her glasses at home, she would type a bit, lean forward to read the screen to verify her accuracy, her tits would press down the keys on the keyboard, and a few seconds later the computer started to beep in annoyance
- I've had many customers use the CD Rom as a drink tray. I've had it break a couple of times. I've had one guy whose kid put Coke on the drink tray, then the computer retracted it and gave his computer a Coke bath. It didn't work so well after that
- Way back in the day of 5.25" floppies, I had a guy bring back his computer because it wouldn't install Word Perfect. It refused to read any floppy past the first one, and after the 5th one he couldn't get any more in the drive. Yup, you guessed it, he wasn't taking them OUT before putting in a new one

NEVER underestimate the power of stupidity.


I'm still laighing out loud. :D