The Value of a Drink

JustAnotherVictim

JustAnotherVictim

Supramania Contributor
Mar 30, 2005
4,722
6
38
The master of speaking without saying anything.
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:



"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
 
lagged

lagged

1991 1JZ
Mar 30, 2005
2,616
0
0
39
new rochelle
just respect it. i used to think as long as i could go to school and work sober that i could drink as much as i wanted in the off time.

but what happens is, or rather, what CAN happen, is that alcohol will become your only activity. you only want to go to parties if there is drinking, you only have fun if youre drinking.

make sure you can still appreciate sober life.

for me, i try to only really drink and get drunk if i am having fun with my buddies.

at one point , i used to go over my friends place and just drink till i passed out.

i believe this was my way of escaping life. it was like commiting suicide without actually killing my self. i would pass out and i wouldnt have to be alive for those few hours.

depression sucks.

luckily, i realized i was at the least, developing a problem and have curbed that habit.

i only drink at appropriate times. i am able to only have ONE beer and enjoy it, instead of ending up getting trashed when i didnt intend on it.

as long as you are aware of the dangers, alcohol is great!
 
ChadMKIII

ChadMKIII

Yup, Thats The G/F
Jul 14, 2006
369
0
0
34
Bay Area, Ca
HellsLegion said:
im not reading that cause you dont think im JDM
Click to expand...

You're not JDM....
Yellow model paint on your USDM fogs doesn't count...:D:D

Hehehe, cat's outta the bag now Kyle...

And that was a pretty damn funny list.
 
Insidious Surmiser

Insidious Surmiser

Formerly 89jdm7m
May 12, 2006
2,172
0
0
Oceanfront
lagged said:
make sure you can still appreciate sober life.
Click to expand...

agreed... i stopped smoking because i completely lost my sense of humor, and could only be happy and laugh when i was high... as soon as i realized that, i simply stopped... luckily i'm back to normal now
 
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