One of the guys I work with and I where really bored at work on Friday and started making fun of some of the rice cars that where passing by out side. At any rate we started talking about some of the stuff they say on some of the forums we visit and decided to make a list of what they are saying and what it really means. So for a laugh here it is.
Ricers say in black, what it means in Red.
I got NOS
I have a policy of No Oral Sex and will therefore have to
service you in some other manner.
I was in a street race
I made a trip to the store for Cheetos and Vaseline, I will be playing Grand Turismo later tonight.
Check out my new spoiler.
I have installed a park bench on my rear trunk lid to increase the passenger capacity of my car, now we can all go to Chucky Cheese’s together.
I will be doing some tuning
I intend to sit around and think up new ways to make more noise.
I upgraded my exhaust.
My mom just finished a can of coffee, I welded it to that muffler I got at Walmart last week.
It’s a SOHC.
I was Sodomized Over Hot Coals during the purchase process and am proud of it.
I installed turbo.
I have acquired a CD of turbo sounds and installed new speakers under the hood.
I installed a Supercharger.
I stole my neighbor’s leaf blower and duct taped it to my intake.
My car is boosted.
My car was stolen
Yeah, I’ve got boost.
Yes, I shoplift at AutoZone.
I have a B18C2
I have beaten you at electronic battleship, I will now go steal my little sister’s panties and beat off to celebrate.
H22
An H22 is a power plant that includes 2 hamsters running in a wheel and will take 2 seconds for any intelligent person to recognize just how dumb it is.
Type R
A product or version of a product Typically Rejected by society for being of little use for performance and of exceedingly low quality.
Si
A mark put on car driven by people that are Stupid and often Intoxicated.
It doesn’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning is winning.
Having upgraded my economy sports car to the max, I have finally defeated the neighbor’s son and his Big Wheel in a ¼ mile drag. I won by 2.1 inches and am quite proud of it.
Walmart
A source of high quality rice parts.
I just got a new body kit.
Bondo and chicken wire were on sale, I will have to pick up more gray primer.
It’s JDM
I purchased it from a Chinese guy on eBay, he doesn’t speak good English but I think it is sprayed with fake anodized looking paint, which he said will add power.
A kill
Is a loss to someone that doesn’t know your forum ID.
Carbon fiber or CF
A type of checkered dark gray duct tape.
My car is finally stage one:
I have installed duel euro wipers and a set of seat belt
shoulder pads that I think say I’m cool.
My car is Stage 2:
I have completed stage one, then installed a set of Alteza tail lights and a can of French roast.
I have reached stage 3:
I have completed stage 2 and applied my APC stickers to the body.
APC
American Proctology Console. A group that stamps their letters on parts commonly used to make ricers bend over.
I have a 50 shot of nitrous.
I can beat 5 out of 10 mopeds and most scooters.
I have a 100 shot.
I have finally defeated another car, it was stopped at a red light that I ran and I passed him so fast…
Hp or Horse Power
1) Something banned in rice circles for being unobtainable 2) The reason most ricers don’t dick with horses.
Torque
The ability to open a screw top bottle.
I just got back together with my girlfriend
I fixed the holes in my blow up doll and I’m back in action.
I was making out with…
I was molesting my friend’s 3 year old sister.
I was dumped by…
My friends sister turned 8, became stronger than me and beat the crap out of me.
Redline
The energy drink most ricers use when playing Sonic the Hedgehog all night on their Sega. Which, according to them, is the coolest system ever…
Racing
Running unsuccessfully from the police that are chasing me for doing donuts in the middle of a Target or Walmart parking lot.
Donuts
Being stuck driving in a small circle and too dumb to escape it.
Sex
To a ricer, having sex is eating their Trix while watching a Speed Racer marathon with their friends.
Snacking
Having just smoked down, most ricers will head to McDonald’s to get a happy meal, which they are sure comes with the best performance parts money can buy.
A sweet ride.
A skateboard with stickers on it.
Ricers say in black, what it means in Red.
I got NOS
I have a policy of No Oral Sex and will therefore have to
service you in some other manner.
I was in a street race
I made a trip to the store for Cheetos and Vaseline, I will be playing Grand Turismo later tonight.
Check out my new spoiler.
I have installed a park bench on my rear trunk lid to increase the passenger capacity of my car, now we can all go to Chucky Cheese’s together.
I will be doing some tuning
I intend to sit around and think up new ways to make more noise.
I upgraded my exhaust.
My mom just finished a can of coffee, I welded it to that muffler I got at Walmart last week.
It’s a SOHC.
I was Sodomized Over Hot Coals during the purchase process and am proud of it.
I installed turbo.
I have acquired a CD of turbo sounds and installed new speakers under the hood.
I installed a Supercharger.
I stole my neighbor’s leaf blower and duct taped it to my intake.
My car is boosted.
My car was stolen
Yeah, I’ve got boost.
Yes, I shoplift at AutoZone.
I have a B18C2
I have beaten you at electronic battleship, I will now go steal my little sister’s panties and beat off to celebrate.
H22
An H22 is a power plant that includes 2 hamsters running in a wheel and will take 2 seconds for any intelligent person to recognize just how dumb it is.
Type R
A product or version of a product Typically Rejected by society for being of little use for performance and of exceedingly low quality.
Si
A mark put on car driven by people that are Stupid and often Intoxicated.
It doesn’t matter if you win by an inch or a mile, winning is winning.
Having upgraded my economy sports car to the max, I have finally defeated the neighbor’s son and his Big Wheel in a ¼ mile drag. I won by 2.1 inches and am quite proud of it.
Walmart
A source of high quality rice parts.
I just got a new body kit.
Bondo and chicken wire were on sale, I will have to pick up more gray primer.
It’s JDM
I purchased it from a Chinese guy on eBay, he doesn’t speak good English but I think it is sprayed with fake anodized looking paint, which he said will add power.
A kill
Is a loss to someone that doesn’t know your forum ID.
Carbon fiber or CF
A type of checkered dark gray duct tape.
My car is finally stage one:
I have installed duel euro wipers and a set of seat belt
shoulder pads that I think say I’m cool.
My car is Stage 2:
I have completed stage one, then installed a set of Alteza tail lights and a can of French roast.
I have reached stage 3:
I have completed stage 2 and applied my APC stickers to the body.
APC
American Proctology Console. A group that stamps their letters on parts commonly used to make ricers bend over.
I have a 50 shot of nitrous.
I can beat 5 out of 10 mopeds and most scooters.
I have a 100 shot.
I have finally defeated another car, it was stopped at a red light that I ran and I passed him so fast…
Hp or Horse Power
1) Something banned in rice circles for being unobtainable 2) The reason most ricers don’t dick with horses.
Torque
The ability to open a screw top bottle.
I just got back together with my girlfriend
I fixed the holes in my blow up doll and I’m back in action.
I was making out with…
I was molesting my friend’s 3 year old sister.
I was dumped by…
My friends sister turned 8, became stronger than me and beat the crap out of me.
Redline
The energy drink most ricers use when playing Sonic the Hedgehog all night on their Sega. Which, according to them, is the coolest system ever…
Racing
Running unsuccessfully from the police that are chasing me for doing donuts in the middle of a Target or Walmart parking lot.
Donuts
Being stuck driving in a small circle and too dumb to escape it.
Sex
To a ricer, having sex is eating their Trix while watching a Speed Racer marathon with their friends.
Snacking
Having just smoked down, most ricers will head to McDonald’s to get a happy meal, which they are sure comes with the best performance parts money can buy.
A sweet ride.
A skateboard with stickers on it.
