stolen from another forum...to funny not to:evil2::evil2:
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the
younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader.'
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.
Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he
drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come
in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably
don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad'.
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at
the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive
fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet
and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a
cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking
his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien.
'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during
my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can
loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the
younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader.'
The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.
The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.
Again, there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he
drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come
in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'
The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably
don't want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad'.
'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at
the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive
fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet
and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a
cactus patch.
Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking
his big, green head.
'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien.
'He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during
my intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can
loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.
