Milk.
- Thread starter DreamerTheresa
- Start date
JustAnotherVictim
Supramania Contributor
I HATE THOSE DAMN COMMERCIALS!!! (The head on, hemeroid cream and something else...so damn annoying)
I yearn to taste that liquid silk
That which some call this Tuscan Milk
Oh how I yearn to taste the treat
That flows so freely from the teat
Milk, the fluid so divine
I drink thee as if it were wine
I thank the species of bovine
For being such a friend of mine
Milk, milk...the base of cheese
I'll have another if you please
Don't think in verse, I aim to tease
Lest I give you Mad Cow disease!
Tuscan Milk = FTW!!
That which some call this Tuscan Milk
Oh how I yearn to taste the treat
That flows so freely from the teat
Milk, the fluid so divine
I drink thee as if it were wine
I thank the species of bovine
For being such a friend of mine
Milk, milk...the base of cheese
I'll have another if you please
Don't think in verse, I aim to tease
Lest I give you Mad Cow disease!
Tuscan Milk = FTW!!
bigaaron said:
the quotes are funny, but this had me roling, and I dont know why.
I think its cause I can see aaron getting pissed at the UPS guy, after he opened it up and said its bad, take it back.
D34DC311 said:
I could have ordered it "Next Day Air Early AM" but then it would be $237.65 for a gallon of warm milk! :biglaugh:
bigaaron said:
Ok, since we all hate fed ex. well most of us, cause they seem to Eff up more parts than UPS, someone order a case of this, and make it groud, whose the furthest away from this place?
Neways order it ground, get it, open it up say its bad, put it back in the box give it back to the fedex guy, and tell the milk place you want a refund:biglaugh:
poor
SupraDerk said:
SHUT UP!!!!!!!
I'm trying to forget those commercials exist. Apparently they piss some other people off, too!
The ad agency who did that should be shot, every last member.
Yeah, so we remember that Head-On goes directly on the forehead. So? I wouldn't buy that just in boycott of the commercials!
Anyway, so friggin hilarious, I loved those reviews. Thanks Dreamer!
Milk in a jug ............BRILLIANT !!!
Finger hold on the jug ...BRILLIANT !!!
Flat bottom ..............BRILLIANT !!!
Fitted top ... ya ....... BRILLIANT !!!
Transparent plastic ..... BRILLIANT !!!
Finger hold on the jug ...BRILLIANT !!!
Flat bottom ..............BRILLIANT !!!
Fitted top ... ya ....... BRILLIANT !!!
Transparent plastic ..... BRILLIANT !!!
lol
I live in Florida having moved here 2 years ago after a painful and nasty divorce...the details of which will soon be published in a book I am working on. Anyway...I often borrow a friends boat and take my kids camping out on some of the tiny Islands that dot the Indian River. A few weeks ago..I took my kids to one of the islands and we set up camp and ate and the kids all bedded down for the night. I have to dock the boat about 50feet from shore so if a storm comes up which is typical this time of year..the motors will not get damaged or grounded. I remembered something i wanted to retrieve and it was late but the moon was bright so I waded out to the boat to retrieve some items I would need in the morning. After I climbed aboard...I suddenly heard a scraping noise and then some pretty loud thuds!!!I looked into the water and to my horror there next to the boat was a gigantic alligator...the largest I had ever seen. I have never before seen anything in the Indian River like this...manatees, dolphins a couple of bull sharks and once a tiny alligator but this bad boy was 6 feet and must have weighed as much as a VW!!!!! Now I am cut off from the island and my kids and this beast is ramming my little boat!!! I began to throw everything I could find at the beast...nothing stopped him....he just kept ripping pieces of my little boat off...water was rushing in!!! As he kept working on the back of the boat and the water was rising..the whole boat began to pitch down into the water. I realized pretty soon this thing could climb aboard!!! My whole life flashed before me. I thought about my life now, my kids, my hopes and dreams...I thought about my ex husband..lets just call him AL...I thought about how bad he would feel when he found out how fabulous I look now compared to him as he has GAINED 20 lbs. even though he and his 4th new "soulmate" are VEGANS!!!! But I digress...so anyway...I run to the front of the boat...get to the cooler and decide to throw this big item at the beasts head and knock it out...I raise the cooler over my head and pitch it at the giant head. The beast opens it's jaws and locks onto the cooler...it thrashed about in a frenzy above the water trying to dislodge its massive jaws from around the sides of the cooler. Suddenly...the top of the cooler swings open and a 128 fl. oz. carton of Tuscan milk flops out and bangs right into the little punching bag thingy at the back of his throat ( I would have said "uvula" but my exhusband never finished High School and we will lose him here or else he will think I meant the beast was a female)while the beast was having a huge gag reflex event..I managed to quickly grab an emergency flare gun...shoot the cooler and although I did not manage to kill the beast...he is now blind and seems to have disappeared from the area. Thank you Tuscan thank you!!!
I live in Florida having moved here 2 years ago after a painful and nasty divorce...the details of which will soon be published in a book I am working on. Anyway...I often borrow a friends boat and take my kids camping out on some of the tiny Islands that dot the Indian River. A few weeks ago..I took my kids to one of the islands and we set up camp and ate and the kids all bedded down for the night. I have to dock the boat about 50feet from shore so if a storm comes up which is typical this time of year..the motors will not get damaged or grounded. I remembered something i wanted to retrieve and it was late but the moon was bright so I waded out to the boat to retrieve some items I would need in the morning. After I climbed aboard...I suddenly heard a scraping noise and then some pretty loud thuds!!!I looked into the water and to my horror there next to the boat was a gigantic alligator...the largest I had ever seen. I have never before seen anything in the Indian River like this...manatees, dolphins a couple of bull sharks and once a tiny alligator but this bad boy was 6 feet and must have weighed as much as a VW!!!!! Now I am cut off from the island and my kids and this beast is ramming my little boat!!! I began to throw everything I could find at the beast...nothing stopped him....he just kept ripping pieces of my little boat off...water was rushing in!!! As he kept working on the back of the boat and the water was rising..the whole boat began to pitch down into the water. I realized pretty soon this thing could climb aboard!!! My whole life flashed before me. I thought about my life now, my kids, my hopes and dreams...I thought about my ex husband..lets just call him AL...I thought about how bad he would feel when he found out how fabulous I look now compared to him as he has GAINED 20 lbs. even though he and his 4th new "soulmate" are VEGANS!!!! But I digress...so anyway...I run to the front of the boat...get to the cooler and decide to throw this big item at the beasts head and knock it out...I raise the cooler over my head and pitch it at the giant head. The beast opens it's jaws and locks onto the cooler...it thrashed about in a frenzy above the water trying to dislodge its massive jaws from around the sides of the cooler. Suddenly...the top of the cooler swings open and a 128 fl. oz. carton of Tuscan milk flops out and bangs right into the little punching bag thingy at the back of his throat ( I would have said "uvula" but my exhusband never finished High School and we will lose him here or else he will think I meant the beast was a female)while the beast was having a huge gag reflex event..I managed to quickly grab an emergency flare gun...shoot the cooler and although I did not manage to kill the beast...he is now blind and seems to have disappeared from the area. Thank you Tuscan thank you!!!