If your bored at work! Something to read and laugh at!

[SupraMario]

Link

So far my favorite one: BTW if your thinking this is a religious joke site its not, this just happened to be one.

Born-Again Brain Teaser

God Squad lady: Praise Jesus! You won't be saved without Jesus! You have to start believing in Jesus to be saved! Jesus will always be there for you!
Suit #1: Would it be so awful if we pushed her out when the doors open?
Suit #2: No. Jesus will save her.

--4 train

Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the mobile sauna bath.

Conductor: This is 175th Street. This is an A train to...This is an A train to... to nothing! Hey, does anyone know where we're going?

--A train, 175th St


LOL

Starbucks: Where Six of One is Not a Half-Dozen of the Other

Employee: Ma'am, can I help you?
Woman: I'd like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3...
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She'll take 6.

--Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse

 

[Kai]

Lol, i rather like this one:

Hot southern girl #1: So, before I came up here my mom is like, "Be very careful around those northern boys, they think all southern girls just love to cook and fuck."
Hot southern girl #2: Oh my gosh, are you serious? They think that? That's so messed up!
Hot southern girl #1: I know!
Hot southern girl #2: But I really do love to cook... And fuck.
Hot southern girl #1: I know... Me too.

 

[SupraMario]

But He's a Major Tourist Attraction

Manic tourist lady #1: Oh wow, the front of the train. I've never been in FRONT before. Look! Haha! No driver!
Manic tourist lady #2: No driver? Seriously? Excuse me, sir? Who's driving this subway?

Local looks up from paper and looks around frantically.

Manic tourist #2: Wait, seriously? Oh my God, should we get off?
Manic tourist #1: Oh, calm down. He's just joking. We can't get off 'til Union Square.
Local: Ma'am, I swear to God that I'm not joking. Nobody's driving this train. I'm just as terrified as you are.
Manic tourist #2: Oh, whatever. He's one of those New York assholes we heard about. Ignore him.

--4 train, 59th St

Overheard by: got off too


BWAHAAHAHHA


What Arthur Got Was More of an Expectoresso

Customer: I'll have a large espresso.
Barista: Coffee?
Customer: No, black tar heroin!
Barista: Right away, sir.

--Starbucks, Staten Island

 

[foreverpsycotic]

Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that's fucked up.

--Eatery, 9th Avenue

edit and this one

Thug: Why you gotta be white and ignorant?
White Girl: Why you gotta be black and belligerent?

--Times Square

Overheard by: Bacon

 

[SupraMario]

I was fuckin rolling when I read this:

Clearly Sex Needs More Upsides

Dude #1: How come when you have sex bad things happen, like STDs? Why can't you get sexually transmitted skills, like creativity?
Dude #2: Or juggling.

--NYU Kimmel



Lindsay Reps Her Own Urine These Days

Hobo putting hand on Justin Timberlake look-alike's shoulder: Oh, shit! It's Justin Timberlake, everybody!
Look-alike: Uh, what?
Tourist teenybopper: Can I have your autograph, please?
Look-alike: I'm not Justin Timberlake.
Tourist teenybopper: But you are.
Hobo, to look-alike: Dude, you work with me here, okay? We'll do business. [To train] Ten bucks for Justin Timberlake's autograph, everyone! For 20 bucks he'll dance for you.
Tourist teenybopper: I have five dollars...
Hobo: We're in business!
Look-alike: I'm going to kill you.
Hobo, to look-alike: Damn, this is the best plan I've ever come up with! Except for the time I tried to sell Lindsay Lohan's piss for 20 bucks. Well, it was actually my own piss. I think God put me on this Earth to fuck with people.

--4 train