Over the years traveling throughout bumblefuck USA for work, I've come across a few interesting things. "Cooterfest" in somewhere South Carolina comes to mind, where they celebrate the turtle, not the kooch. Today I'm in Troy, Alabama with our most recent hire, Gruver. More on him later.
Troy is quite the place, so I bought a cheap digital camera after I saw a guy with the size and attitude of a pro wrestler driving a gay baby blue Geo Tracker with 33" mudders. I missed the pic of the Geo, and the photo of the '70's caddy convertible with the duct taped roll bar didn't turn out. :nono:
We asked the girl at the front desk where the action was, she laughed and said "this is Troy", so we went looking for fun on our own. We couldn't find an open bar in town, but here a couple of things that Troy has to offer:
The trendy artistic part of town includes "SheBang!!!" dance studio of Clog Dancing
I didn't feel much like clogging and we were hungry, so we went looking for food. One of the few options in town were Mr. Ho's Chinese restaurant.
Unsure if we were going to get a plate of General's Chicken or an erotic massage we passed it by and grabbed a Hot-n-Ready Pizza and order of breadsticks from Little Seizures and some beer.
After getting back to the hotel, I opened the Holiday Inn Express vistor's binder and found we could've eaten at "Magnolia's". Apparently people who come here are dense and unfamiliar with anything but TimesNewRoman and Helvetica fonts, and needed a little help with their ad:
It is true; M does not equal "ITT". I'm glad we didn't eat there.
So here's Gruver:
We hired him a year ago and I am still working on my goal to make him cry, but he's a thick skinned little bastard. Last fall I was traveling with him when I ran over a beaver and made him carry it several hundred yards down a dark Alabama road - there is a thread on this if you would like to search for it. I make up songs about him just about every day. Here's one of my favorites:
Little Mike Gruver took it up the pooper, had a really good time.
She wouldn't let him fister, so he did it with a mister,
Which turned out to be just fine...
It goes on from there, but you get the idea. If that hasn't made him cry, I don't know what will. Any ideas? My wife wonders why he still talks to me, but I think it's a priviledge for him.
Volume II to come, I'm sure.
Troy is quite the place, so I bought a cheap digital camera after I saw a guy with the size and attitude of a pro wrestler driving a gay baby blue Geo Tracker with 33" mudders. I missed the pic of the Geo, and the photo of the '70's caddy convertible with the duct taped roll bar didn't turn out. :nono:
We asked the girl at the front desk where the action was, she laughed and said "this is Troy", so we went looking for fun on our own. We couldn't find an open bar in town, but here a couple of things that Troy has to offer:
The trendy artistic part of town includes "SheBang!!!" dance studio of Clog Dancing
I didn't feel much like clogging and we were hungry, so we went looking for food. One of the few options in town were Mr. Ho's Chinese restaurant.
Unsure if we were going to get a plate of General's Chicken or an erotic massage we passed it by and grabbed a Hot-n-Ready Pizza and order of breadsticks from Little Seizures and some beer.
After getting back to the hotel, I opened the Holiday Inn Express vistor's binder and found we could've eaten at "Magnolia's". Apparently people who come here are dense and unfamiliar with anything but TimesNewRoman and Helvetica fonts, and needed a little help with their ad:
It is true; M does not equal "ITT". I'm glad we didn't eat there.
So here's Gruver:
We hired him a year ago and I am still working on my goal to make him cry, but he's a thick skinned little bastard. Last fall I was traveling with him when I ran over a beaver and made him carry it several hundred yards down a dark Alabama road - there is a thread on this if you would like to search for it. I make up songs about him just about every day. Here's one of my favorites:
Little Mike Gruver took it up the pooper, had a really good time.
She wouldn't let him fister, so he did it with a mister,
Which turned out to be just fine...
It goes on from there, but you get the idea. If that hasn't made him cry, I don't know what will. Any ideas? My wife wonders why he still talks to me, but I think it's a priviledge for him.
Volume II to come, I'm sure.
